Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Sometimes I feel as if I am reading and participating in the same conversations about theology and the Bible and the future of the church and sexuality and gender I’ve been reading and participating in for years now. It’s as if we are going in circles. 

And we are. It seems to me this is how life works, how growth happens. Not in a straight line, not in ups and downs, but in a spiral, that goes forward and in circles at the same time. These conversations are signs of growth. They often mean that more people are joining in and thinking out loud. 

And, while I may have made up my mind about some of these issues, and I’m not particularly interested in rehashing them, I understand that others are. Talking about issues is often part of the process we go through as our ideas and beliefs change.

We are all at different places in our understanding. I sometimes have little patience for people who do not agree with me about things I feel strongly about, and then I remember that everyone isn’t at the same place (and, also, of course, that I could be wrong about a lot of things). We pull each other up and along. We broaden each other’s understandings; we help each other when we go off track. We repeat our beliefs and ask our questions again and again. We have to, because there are so many of us speaking and changing and growing all at once.

At the same time, partially because the Internet makes everything accessible to just about everyone, we’re having many of these conversations in public. The people who are, for example, changing their beliefs about sexuality or women in the priesthood may want to think and write about their evolving thoughts, while others are tired of hearing about this, and may even find it painful.

Ideally, we’d hash out our thoughts and ask our questions in our local community rather than in public. It’s there, face-to-face, where real relationships and contact can help us see the issues and each other with compassion (I recognize that sometimes, of course, we have to cut ties, especially those who have been ostracized and hurt by the community). 

A parish or any community is going to include people in different places in their faith. There is room for all of us. This doesn’t mean a community can’t take a stand or that we have to compromise our beliefs, it just means having a little patience with and a lot of love for each other.