May 1, 2014

Defining your Meeting

My daughter served as a page for the Kentucky State Senate recently. She thought the day was interesting, and she learned a lot. But she also informed me: “Did you know they spend all day in meetings? I don’t think I want a job like that.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that she just narrowed the job market by about 80 to 90 percent. Sometimes it feels like my day is one long string of meetings, with work stuffed in between or into the evening. Church life can be like that too.   

I’m not anti-meeting. For some people, the announcement of a meeting is akin to fingernails on the chalkboard. I actually think that good meetings are an important and critical part of our work, both as paid employees and as volunteers. But defining the meeting early on is critical.   

Is this meeting for news updates? Is this a time for each ministry leader to share what’s happening in his or her area? This can be helpful (especially for a communications director who can collect these updates and mold into a fine newsletter article). But I’m not sure that simple updates move the organization forward.   

Is the meeting for problem sharing—or, and this is an important distinction—for problem solving? I have attended many leadership meetings in the course of my career and in the church. When problem sharing is the sole component of the meeting, the gathering seems to be more of a tattle-telling session. Someone failed to do his or her job correctly. Period. But if the meeting has a problem-solving focus, then it’s not about blame or shame but rather about making changes, big and small, to avoid experiencing the same issue.   

The challenge is that everyone needs to view the meeting in the same light. If one person feels like he or she is problem solving, but someone perceives the comments as sharing (or blaming), then the outcome of a meeting is always going to feel skewed. Even if a solution is developed, someone is going to feel like it came at the cost of his or her reputation as a quality employee or volunteer.   

Changing this dynamic is difficult, painstaking work. My experience is that it’s the old song-and-dance of one-step-forward, two-steps back.   

But we still need to try. One helpful step is naming at the beginning of each meeting (or part of the meeting) a time for problem solving. This invites people to share issues but frames it as an opportunity instead of reporting failure. I think we also need to take personal stock: Are there times when we are only problem sharing? And how can we recast those moments into an invitation for productive change? 

At the same time, there have been situations where I’ve needed to vent or talk about a problem without asking for a direct solution. That’s OK too, as long as I label it that way—and use this option with care and on rare occasions: “I’m not asking for a solution here but wanted to share a challenge that I’m experiencing.”   

Seeking solutions together is a good use of our time in meetings. Being defensive about our failures—or taking delight in pointing them out in others—is a surefire way to suck the life out of any meeting, and eventually out of the organization.