July 23, 2014

The Art of the House Call or...

Everything I needed to know for ministry I learned as a union organizer.

As a 22-year-old union organizer -- my first job out of college -- I discovered that my main job was to knock on strangers' doors and engage them in conversation about their work. To the extroverts in my training group, this sounded like "fun." To me, it sounded like a nightmare. I'm not sure what I thought union organizing would entail, but endless use of my non-existent small-talk skills wasn't it. Nonetheless, a history degree, passion for social justice, and budding interest in Jesus didn't add up to a lot of other job options, so I stuck it out.

It turned out that talking to people about their jobs was not small talk. Work is where people spend a good share of their waking hours, form some of their most significant relationships, and experience many of their stresses and conflicts. And rarely does anyone ask more than the most perfunctory questions about what someone actually does during all those hours at work. It was shockingly easy to engage people by asking questions and being genuinely interested in the answers.

I learned that people -- all people -- are deeply interested in their own lives. It's what we all spend most of our time thinking about. With few exceptions, people are eager to talk about this burning interest if they believe the other person is actually interested as well.

In union organizing we called this "house calling." In the course of several factory-organizing campaigns, I learned the map of every neighborhood in Dallas where you could live on minimum wage (ah...the days before GPS). These days most of my house calling doesn't happen at homes and apartments, although maybe more of it should.

But I still "house call" the people I meet in ministry whenever I get the chance. I ask questions about work, family, community, school. I focus in on where the energy is, and try to tell stories of my own (briefly!) that build trust and take us farther from the surface.

Like any powerful practice, house calling can be abused. Churches, unions, and community groups alike fall into to the sin of appearing interested in people's lives only to meet our own organizational ends. But at its best, house calling is transformative. It builds trust and relationship; it opens possibility for conversion of life and change in the world.

For introverts like me, who imagine that our struggles with small talk render us poor candidates for participation in coffee hour, much less evangelism -- forget small talk. Ask about the big things. Really listen. Ask follow up questions. House calling is for everyone.