Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Part 1 of 4. Read Part 2 here, Part 3 here, and Part 4 here.

Often lay people tell me that they love so many things about their church, and that they hate so many things about their church. They describe how the congregation dreams of change and how change doesn’t happen. These members of churches ask me for advice, they look at their community life critically, they engage in creative thinking, they get excited about ideas that might work, and then they turn to me and say “you should talk to my pastor”. One minute they are full of energy for change, the next minute they are deferring all change to the work of the pastor.

Let me say this clearly: you can change your church; you can make a difference. I know, you are not ordained, you are not the paid, you didn’t study church change, you aren’t an organizational guru, you can’t work on this full time, you have a family and a job, you have a hundred reasons you cannot work on this problem. Yet still I say to you clearly: you can change your church; you can make a difference; you are called to be part of the change.

Every church exists as a system and every system changes when an individual decides to act differently. You can stop criticizing people and start calling out bad behavior, you can stop complaining in private and start speaking out in public, you can stop listing people’s weaknesses and start appreciating people’s strengths. You can refuse to rescue programs that need to die, refuse to do more work than can be done well, and refuse to take on the anxiety of others. You can pray for the complainers, pray for the blockers, pray for the despairing, pray for the neighborhood, and pray for the church. You can choose a different way.

Choosing to act differently, choosing to see people differently, choosing to live by your values—all of these things will change the system of your church. If you are in charge at your church this choosing behavior is called leadership; if you are not in charge at your church this choosing behavior is called leadership. It is leadership when it comes from the top; it is leadership when it comes from the side. We have high expectations of those who are leading from the top, we need to set higher expectations for all of us who are leading from the side.

At work this leading from the side might be called managing the management, at home it might be called negotiating solutions, among your friends it might simply be described as assertiveness. If you try to change others by being aggressive, or passive, or passive-aggressive then you are not engaged in leadership, you are engaged in manipulation. Please don’t use manipulation to change your church! Change your church with assertive leadership from the side. Manipulation focuses on problems; leadership imagines opportunities. Manipulation pushes others to take sides; leadership guides others to the community’s values. Manipulation is quick and destructive; leadership is slow and creative.

Draw a deep breath, begin a slower pace, take a tentative step, start leading at your church, leading from the side. Join God and your neighbor in slow and creative change.

This post first appeared on The Mission Institute website and is reprinted with permission.
The Mission Institute is a collaborative venture of Episcopal Divinity School, Episcopal City Mission, and the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts. It offers congregations and communities innovative learning opportunities that nurture leaders, strengthen communities, support spiritual growth, and advance positive transformation in our societies. Learn more about The Mission Institute here or visit their Facebook page.