August 2, 2016
UnCivil Wars
The insults are fast and furious, quick as fingers can type. Disdain drips from comments. There’s unfriending and dismissal, with malcontents and earnest disagreement getting mixed into a giant slurry of an uncivil war.
This political season feels uglier than any I’ve witnessed in four decades. Maybe I’m naïve – or forgetful – but the mudslinging seems to feed and thrive like a parasite on the ease and reach of social media.
As people of faith, what can we do?
First and last, we pray. The Book of Common Prayer is a wonderful resource for powerful prayers, including an offering for the nation on page. 258.
“Lord God Almighty, you have made all the peoples of the earth for your glory, to serve you in freedom and in peace. Give to the people of our country a zeal for justice and the strength of forbearance, that we may use our liberty in accordance with your gracious will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”
But we must also act. I witnessed last week a public falling out between a family that I cherished as a child. One person supports Hillary Clinton; other family members are dedicated fans of Donald Trump. Their pain was palpable. At one point, the mom said she would deactivate her Facebook account because she didn’t want it to hurt those she loved.
I urged her not to leave. The only way forward that I can see is to move through this election season together, in fragile tension, in purposeful community. (Of course, Facebook is only one way to be in community but in this modern age, it’s a potent tool). This will require restraint. Believe me, as the liberal daughter of a conservative family, I feel the pain of restraint. But love wins, so I (mostly) refrain from commenting and scroll past memes and posts that make me shudder. And I refrain from posting on my own feed ones that will make my family shudder. I love them more than I dislike some politician, and I refuse to insert Hillary or Donald into my relationship with my family.
But while restraint may control the blaze, careful conversation can put out the flames. One of my colleagues, Scott Gunn, modeled the type of conversation that we may find helpful as we move through these next few months – and in other situations where different sides have strongly held beliefs.
On his Facebook page, he invited friends to comment:
“As an exercise in political empathy, I'd like to do a bold experiment. Please try to list one positive reason why someone might vote for the presidential candidate you do NOT support. (Comments will be moderated carefully; we're looking for positive empathy here.)”
The next day, he encouraged followers to:
“Please leave a comment with your most compelling POSITIVE reason why you're voting for your presidential candidate. Try not to use this to attack the other one or something based on fear ("So we don't fall into ____"). What's the positive, best reason to vote for your person?”
More than 200 comments followed, with most people engaging the experiment in positive and empathetic ways. For many people, the first question was especially hard, and I admit to struggling as well. The question asked us to put aside our own feelings and try to understand those that are different from ours.
Ah. Empathy. Compassion. Love. When we listen with an open heart, we give the fruits of the Spirit an opportunity to take root.
I wonder if our role as faithful Christians is to continue to ask these types of questions, to really listen instead of simply biding our time to make our own case. I invite you to post these questions to your own Facebook pages and to church’s. Moderate carefully (deleting those who are only interested in the fight, not a discussion) and become a place where good people of different opinions can gather and be in community. Be people of good will. Be the church.
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