Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Blanche DuBois relied on the kindness of strangers, but I am thankful for the kindness of Facebook.

Already this morning, dozens of people from across every stage of my life have taken a moment to wish happy birthday on Facebook. On the surface, it seems trivial, I suppose – a quick typing of a few good wishes.

But for the recipient, it feels like a mini-episode of this-is-your-life. I get to remember my kindergarten best friend and Taco Bell runs and Choir Tour trips with my church youth group. I think about college all-nighters and lazy afternoons on the quad. There are happy wishes from colleagues during my newspaper years – including an unusual five May 11 birthdays from my time covering city hall in Fort Wayne, Ind.

And of course, there are messages from the people in my life today, my family and friends, church members and co-workers. 

It is wonderful to be reminded that I am loved. 

I will keep these messages and return to them from time to time, especially on days when I feel alone. It is easy to let the tyranny of the immediate, the demands of everyday life, make me lose sight of the big picture. 

I think this is so often true in church work – both diocesan and parochial. I used to think the appreciative inquiry approach to evaluating effectiveness was a waste of time. Frankly, I’m the type of person who wants to identify the problem and get to the solutions. But as I get older, ahem, I realize that sharing success and talking about what works puts in context what is not working. It makes the problem seem surmountable. 

Perhaps the next time there’s an issue at church, leaders could begin the conversation by inviting a mash-up of FB birthday wishes and appreciative inquiry. 

Loved the sermon. Great to hear the sounds of kids. Glad to meet the visitor who stayed for coffee hour. Appreciated the visit at the hospital. Looking forward to Bible study. Thankful for the community meal. 

I’d give those all a FB Like.