Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Are nice people really killing churches? The Episcopal Café is calling attention to this blog post by Todd Rhoades which suggests that church leaders, while being good at treating others with grace and love are not as good at treating each other with truth, or as Rhoades puts it “Truth, covered in grace and love.” And this lack of truth then leads to a dying church.

At ECF Vital Practices, we agree: Truth, covered in grace and love, is essential for a church – or any organization - to be healthy and growing. We also know that this isn’t always easy. People often want to be ‘nice’ or ‘kind’ so they gloss over behaviors or other things they find troubling rather than learn to offer feedback as a tool for encouragement and effective performance. Perhaps it is in our nature to avoid things we fear might be unpleasant or uncomfortable.

The ability to learn is also in our nature.

A prominent theme in our Vital Posts blogs is the development of leadership skills. A quick search for posts offering resources and tips for learning to speak “truth, covered in grace and love,” yields:

• Annual Review 
• Giving Feedback 
• Results, Relationships, Process 
• Wanted: Good Coaches 

What strategies or resources have you used to help leaders in your congregation or organization become more comfortable giving honest and appropriate feedback, covered in grace and love?