Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Recently I’ve been watching the West Wing, a show I watched religiously when it first aired. It’s an idealistic, if not particularly realistic, show. Frequently, characters are persuaded to change their minds, often after someone makes a particularly salient argument. But most of us know that that’s not usually how minds are changed.

You may have heard about the Republican Senator who changed his stance on gay marriage after his son told him he was gay. As this story demonstrates, most often our minds are changed by relationships and experience. There are many opportunities to interact with people who agree with us, from websites to cable news networks to radio talk shows. It is often only relationships with others that can break us out of these echo chambers.

As every Anglican knows, the church has its own politics and deep divides. Fortunately, we also have liturgy and community that can bring us together despite these divides, and Jesus Christ, a person. The church can be a place where life-altering relationships can develop with those who are different from us and challenge us.

I became a staunch supporter of gay rights after some people very close to me told me they were gay. I was, and still am, also close friends with deeply faithful people who felt that homosexuality was a sin. I loved these people, and I knew that despite our disagreements they were trying to do the will of God the best they could, just as I was. Occasionally, we even changed each other’s minds. Having known them has helped me to have compassion for those with whom I disagree.

I don’t want to argue here that the church should make us all theologically “liberal.” I do think that the church should challenge us and help us see each other better, with love, as we all grapple with big questions. Relationships can help us remain compassionate toward each other. Jesus was a person, unpredictable and surprising and often confounding, and we should challenge each and love each other just as Jesus challenged and loved us.