Episcopal Church Foundation Vital Practices - Blogs

August 1, 2013

Hog, Bog, and Frog

Want to suck the energy out of a meeting? Allow the hog to dominate. Stay silent for the bog. Invite the frog.

At a leadership workshop offered this weekend by the Diocese of Lexington, I learned about this phrase. It was in the context of how I might best interact and respect my fellow workshop participants. But I think there’s a lot of value in looking at these three types of personalities in our vestry and other church meetings.

The hog likes to hear himself speak. He goes on and on, jumps in every conversation, and is quite pleased with his extensive knowledge of all things, from plumbing to liturgy, budget to tree trimming. The hog squeezes others out of the conversation and squelches disparate opinions.

The bog can’t see the forest for the trees. This person gets so drawn into the details and wants to examine every facet of an issue that the group can’t move to the next item on an agenda. The bog beats the proverbial dead horse until even the vultures move on.

The frog leaps right over items. Instead of listening carefully to colleagues or vestry members, the frog skips to the issue she’s passionate about, leaping in a single bound from planning the Christian education program to figuring out handicapped parking.

Giving these energy-sucking habits a clever name is one way to draw attention to the problem without finger pointing. It’s also worth asking ourselves throughout a meeting: Am I being a hog? Bog or frog? Probably we’re all guilty occasionally, and we should give some space and grace, particularly in areas that we’re passionate about.

But when these behaviors become patterns, when you can anticipate boggish conversation before the person even opens his mouth, or when you eyeroll when the hog jumps in, then you know there’s a problem. Your meeting is a balloon in slow deflate. People will see the commitment as a drag, as energy draining, instead of the opportunity to build up the body.

I propose that at the next vestry meeting, the priest or senior warden present these concepts and ask people to commit to avoiding the behaviors. The other part, of course, is naming—in gentle but certain ways—these behaviors when they persist.

Now, before I lapse into any of hogging, I'll sign off. Ribbit.