Vital Posts

I didn't sign up for this.

by Miguel Angel Escobar on February 21, 2012

Over the past ten years of working on various committees and church groups, there have been a few critical moments when I've found myself thinking “I didn’t sign up for this.” Please note: I’m not proud of this fact. For me, this is a boiling point comment; it’s what I mutter to myself when all my alarm bells are going off and all my instincts are telling me to run away.

Chances are that you have your own versions of this phrase. Moreover, chances are that at some point in the next year or so you’ll have an occasion to mutter something similar. Off the top of my head and with absolutely no (none, zero, zip, zilch) relation to things I’ve experienced, here are some examples of moments that may leave you thinking “I didn’t sign up for this.”
  • After much pushing and prodding, the true financial state of your church is revealed to be far worse than anyone expected.
  • Your favorite projects are shelved as the leadership team’s time and energy becomes consumed by a conflict.
  • A phone call alerts you to financial  improprieties taking place at church.
  • An action is taken that offends your core values.
Any of these instances should set off alarm bells in leaders’ minds, and they will probably result in a few team members searching their souls as to whether or not it is worth the time and effort to continue serving in their role. According to one mentor, a person who talked me through this sort of soul searching, crisis moments can throw cold water on our heartfelt commitments, forcing us to either make a graceful exit or make an even deeper commitment to the people and mission of our church. 

I mentioned above that I’m not particularly proud of the times when I’ve thought this, and I’d like to briefly expand on that. The embarrassing aspect of this phrase is that it shines a light on the hidden qualifiers of our various commitments. A few examples:
  • I’m committed to this church (provided it’s in sound financial shape).
  • I’ll work with this team (provided we don’t address the elephant in the room).
  • I’ll support this organization (provided I’m 100% on board with the direction we take).
Yet leadership - particularly in a Christian community - is oftentimes about respectfully addressing the elephant in the room, working with those with whom you don't necessarily agree, and it's almost always about doing much with limited resources. It's the hardest parts of what we sign up for!

Crisis moments are challenging for everyone involved. They'll undoubtedly result in alarm bells going off and, sadly, they may result in one or two people deciding to end their leadership role. The next time this happens, however, we should pause, take stock of our commitment level, and take up the challenge to go much deeper. 

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Comments

1

Michael Foughty on February 21, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I could have srtten this article except for the end. I'm a two time former senior warden. One reason people 'run away' from church conflict, particularly the petty ones, is simple fatigue. When one puts in 50 hours plus a week at earning the daily bread (with or without the commute), one's patience for BS, especially of the 'bickering kind,' grows quite thin. Perhaps when I retire from the 'daily grind' I'll rejoin the fray. I have more patience when I'm not tired, have time to burn, and don't face a 5:30 AM alarm clock every day.

2

Miguel Escobar on February 21, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Thanks Michael. You're absolutely right in noting that conflicts, crisis, and controversy can be especially hard to deal with after a lengthy work week. I definitely think this is part of the disappointment & frustration of many congregational leaders. Thanks for your voice from the field and for continuing to figure out ways to support your church, even if this means doing so in alternative roles.

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