January 13, 2015

It’s Not About Me

Karaoke isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

I know. It’s hard to imagine that cheering an off-key rendition of Copacabana isn’t how everyone wants to pass the time on Friday nights.

I confess: I love karaoke. I think it’s fun and funny and reminds me of the night when I met my husband (Yes. I was on stage, singing. No, I don’t think that’s what caught his attention). So when we were planning our staff party and wanted to add some joy and mirth to the evening, I suggested karaoke.

Our fearless leader knew nothing of the plan until the evening began. Suffice it to say, he is not a karaoke fan. In fact, I suspect he would rank an evening of karaoke right next to scraping gum off the bottom of movie theater seats.

But an important (and sometimes rare) quality of leaders is that they recognize it’s not all about them. So he sat patiently throughout the evening while different members of the staff sang solos, duets, quartets, and various other configurations.

There were no Grammy winners among the performers. But there was a lot of laughter. Clapping. Picture taking. Folks from different departments paired up to sing old favorites. People shared stories about their lives and music.

All in all, it was a great evening of team bonding.

The leader could have pulled the plug but realized the value of putting aside his own interests (and disinterests). 

A priest I know well is very Anglo-Catholic. High up the candle, you might say. His congregation is not. They are broad church with considerable misgivings about incense and even chanting the liturgy. For the priest’s personal piety, this churchmanship grieves him. 

But the congregation is healthy, growing, and dynamic. Just because they don’t worship in the style he’d prefer doesn’t mean that it’s not a valid and vibrant option. 

He realizes: It’s not about him. 

This is not to say that leaders shouldn’t cast a bold vision or work collaboratively and strategically to build and strengthen congregations. But the best leaders will be able to discern between their own personal preferences and a good path forward. Servant leaders are able to put aside their own wants and acknowledge, endure, and even appreciate the value of other ideas, other ways of being church and of being disciples. 

And sometimes it might even mean singing for dinner. 

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