Episcopal Church Foundation Vital Practices - Blogs

February 13, 2012

Small Groups

I have served on vestries and participated in men’s Bible studies and groups for young adults. All of these groups have defined boundaries – not everyone can join them. There is a part of me that is a bit uncomfortable with a group in which membership is closed. If, in a church we seek to welcome and minister to the stranger and the needy, how and why should the church tell anyone, “You can’t be part of this group?”

Still, it is clear to me that small groups, particularly decision-making bodies, are an important part of building a community. We need these groups to make decisions and pursue projects, of course. These groups can be a safe place where individuals can grow and connect with each other – a small group of working parents, for example, or those who are in partnered relationships, or individuals whose spirituality is informed by art, for example. It can be useful to be in a group with others who are dealing with similar life experiences, or who have similar interests.

If the group is forever changing – open and unpredictable, as a church can be – it is difficult for intimacy to develop. It can be hard for some (like myself) to ever feel completely comfortable if they never know who will be there from one week to the next. A defined small group can be a place where we can be honest and safe, and minister to each other.

In light of the usefulness and necessity for small groups with boundaries, how can they be created without causing pain to those who are not included? My church is engaged in a discernment process to establish its governance system, and is also starting its first Bible study group. For the former, we need to decide what kind of decision-making system to use, how to define “membership,” and so on – thus the topic has been on my mind. I think there are few things that churches leaders should remember when starting any kind of small group within a church.

First, be transparent. Give everyone a chance to sign up, if they meet the criteria. Feel free to set deadlines for signing up, but make sure people know what they are opting out of if they don’t.

Make sure that the boundaries of the group are well justified and well explained, and that they fit with your theology. Is your young adult group, for example, for people ages 20 through 30, or 18 through 35? Why do you need a young adult group at all? Or a men/women’s group, or a Bible study with a capped number of members? Having a men’s group, for example, has theological and sociological implications, and you should understand them as much as possible, and be prepared to discuss them.

Groups should also not become cliques. One of the great things about a church is that it brings together people of different backgrounds and ages together. If your small groups are hindering the development of the larger community in which members cut themselves off from the rest of the community, rethink them.

The point is not to create insiders and outsiders, but to give everyone different ways to connect with one another and serve the church. At their best, groups should build relationships and ground individuals in the larger community.