Vital Posts / Conflict

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  • Mass: A Conversation ✓
    The parishioner just couldn’t accept the word “mass.” In a long, terse letter to the rector, he decried the use of the term Mass. It’s a worship service, he said. We’re not Roman Catholic. We shouldn’t be using their terminology. "S…
  • Handcuffed by governance? ✓
    Do you believe the Episcopal Church's system of governance helps or hinders your congregation's ability to carry out God's Mission? During her remarks at the Executive Council's first plenary session, Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori chal…
  • Conversación a imagen de Cristo
    This article is also available in English here. Todos hemos estado en una de esas reuniones: una reunión interminable en la que la gente dice lo mismo que dijeron otros, en que algunos hablan con el único propósito de oírse hablar o en la…
  • I didn't sign up for this.
    Over the past ten years of working on various committees and church groups, there have been a few critical moments when I've found myself thinking “I didn’t sign up for this.” Please note: I’m not proud of this fact. For me, this is a boiling…
  • Back to Africa
    So it begins. I am on sabbatical for the first time and returning to Africa after 25 years. My time begins with a formal visit to our sister church in Uganda, St. Stephen’s Anglican Church in Nakiwogo near Entebbe. In 1987 I traveled to Niger…
  • Entrenched
    Whether this has happened in your congregation or not, all of us have seen disagreements escalate. It’s a familiar pattern: a disagreement takes a turn for the worse; accusations heat up and nuances are thrown out the window; someone, feeling par…
  • Small Changes, Big Impacts
    With the start of 2012, many people - including myself - are considering ways to improve their health and well-being. Resolutions will be made and, if research on New Year’s resolutions is any indication, nearl…
  • What I Didn’t Learn in Geometry, I Learned at Church
    Triangulation. It’s the classic killer of many ministries. Person A tells something to Person B, and Person B takes it to Person C. The problem is exponentially exacerbated when Person C actually holds court in the first place with Person B. Ther…
  • Conflict and Decline
    Here’s a set of numbers that should give us pause. According to the 2010 Faith Communities Today Survey conducted by the Episcopal Church’s Office of Research, we are a conflictive church. In that survey 61% of Episcopal churches reported that…
  • Thanks, Netflix: A Lesson in Communication and Change
    We should send a thank you letter to Netflix.  After all, the company is providing a great example of what happens when there’s no communication plan. To catch you up: Basically Netflix, a mail-order DVD rental company, made huge change…
  • Shooting Stars
    Every diocesan office, every church staff has some superstars. They are creative thinkers – and doers – with boundless optimism and energy. Their job is a ministry, a calling, and they pour both their ability and heart into the work. And it…
  • Handling Blowback: When Social Media Gets Mean
    So you've posted a link to your sermon on Facebook and now the comments section reads like the bathroom graffiti in a college bar. What do you do? First, relax. This kind of blowback has been going on since Luther posted his 95 Theses on the doors …
  • Blowing off Steam
    The air conditioner repair guys were lazy. They took the shortest distance to install the exhaust pipes – straight from the basement to the outside wall, right beside the entrance.  Don’t be alarmed: this is being fixed. Today. The…
  • Making Room
    Why are we so uncomfortable with people who disagree with us? How and when do we learn to ‘shut out’ voices whose opinions are different than our own? And, why are we so sure that we are ‘right?’ These questions are on my mind as I’ve…
  • Hard Times/Courageous Change?
    Yesterday started on a good note. I got two promising leads for new clients and won the drawing at the Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast. Later in the morning I met the woman I’ll be collaborating with on a project for a current client.…
  • Listening Across Difference
    I’m always surprised. I’m referring to the discussion that takes place at my monthly book club meeting. Each month our group of 12 selects and reads a book, then meets to discuss it. And, each time, I am surprised both by the different ways…
  • Kindness of FB friends
    Blanche DuBois relied on the kindness of strangers, but I am thankful for the kindness of Facebook. Already this morning, dozens of people from across every stage of my life have taken a moment to wish happy birthday on Facebook. On the surfa…
  • Editor's Letter: Caring for Each Other
    Our congregational life is a common life, complete with the joys and challenges that come from being in relationship. As congregational leaders, our role involves managing the sometimes ‘sticky wickets’ of relationship that hamper our work of b…
  • Certain or Stuck?
    Most mornings when I wake up, my husband brings me a cup of coffee. When I’m at a hotel by myself, I make the coffee right after waking up. My first morning in Memphis, I was mildly annoyed when I noticed the pot was missing from the coffee m…
  • Knee-deep: The tough work of being church
    The 10-ton truck was no match for a long-forgotten septic tank. The delivery of gravel for the driveway was on course until the truck reached the last section. The weight bore down and crushed the old metal lid. The tire sank into the hole, an…
  • Divvying Up the Loot
    Having recently finished reading Tracy Kidder’s Mountains Beyond Mountains, and currently reading A Tale of Two Cities, I’m thinking a lot about the divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots;’ a divide that has existed for centuries…
  • Mommy's a Good Multi-tasker
    We were running late to church. I applied the eye shadow at one stop light, mascara at the next. Now to find the lipstick. I rummaged through my purse with one hand. My 9-year-old started scolding. Mommy, stop. Keep both hands on the whe…
  • February Update: New Vestry Papers Content
    As promised, ECF Vital Practices continues to add to its January/February Vestry Papers themed content with two new articles: Covenants in Congregational Life In his role as the Episcopal Church’s Missioner for Church Planting, Ministry …
  • Renewing Our Baptismal Covenant
    In the aftermath of the shooting of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords at a campaign event in Arizona, two Facebook postings caught my attention. The first, John Donne’s familiar poem, a favorite since college: "No man is an island, entire of itself; …
  • Emmanuel
    I want to write about losing inches from my waist and straightening all of my closets – or at least my sincere plans to do so sometime in 2011. But I’ve just returned from the funeral of a priest who committed suicide four days after Christ…
  • Crisis of Church
    I am having a crisis of Church. No, not a crisis of faith. My faith is strong and for that I am thankful. However, I am taking some time off from church. Not my parish, not the Episcopal Church, but THE Church. You see, I believe The Church is i…
  • Behaving Badly (and Publicly)
    Sometimes people behave badly - and the media (willing participant or not) gives them a platform to advertise the bad behavior. In a recent situation, a former parishioner and church employee was interviewed by a local newspaper. She misled the…
  • Conventional Wisdom and Gene Robinson's Retirement
    Last week in my blog I held up our General Convention as an object lesson in applying human reason as a theological authority. With the announcement of the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson’s retirement I am remembering the most meaningful example of this I…
  • The Balance Between Crazy and Amazing
    My diocese is not known to have many money problems.    But when a committee started drafting the 2011 budget, they realized we were facing a shortfall. Like every church organization, we’ve tightened our belts, frozen salaries, and made toug…
  • Church and Sate
    The separation of church and state is a key cornerstone of the U.S. government. At the same time, everyone at my noonday meeting on Tuesday had cast their vote in a local church. This juxtaposition struck me today as we move from one of the most…