Episcopal Church Foundation Vital Practices

March 2016

Conflict

Conflict Resolution from a Referee
By Scott Petersen
What can a church learn from a soccer referee? In “title” Scott Peterson, priest and a soccer referee, draws our attention to the ways an experienced referee, in the heat of the moment restores order and engenders trust in his/her decisions. He offers the referee’s steps as a guide for reacting to conflict when it flares up in a church setting.
Conflict: Is Everyone Being Heard?
By Anna Olson
“One size fits all” never fits anyone well. Anna Olson identifies two dominant norms for managing conflict that, given the cultural context of a congregation, may undermine attempts to support healthier communication.
Factions to Families: Lessons from 1 Corinthians
By C. K. Robertson
We start by looking back to the early days of Christianity. In “From Factions to Families: Lessons from 1 Corinthians,” C.K. Robertson reminds us that Paul’s advice to the Corinthians has stood the test of time. He suggests we have a choice: Unlike the Corinthians who ignored Paul’s advice, we can choose to listen and take seriously the challenge he offers us.
Getting Along in a Really Strange, Big Family
By Kay Collier McLaughlin
Can we learn new ways of dealing with conflict? Kay Collier McLaughlin’s “Trying To 'Get Along' In A Really Strange, Big Family” offers an approach to help congregational leaders identify destructive behaviors and replace them with healthier alternatives.
Overcome Being Conflict Averse
By Richard Simpson
Are you conflict averse? Most of us learn at an early age to sometimes give the expected answer – rather than a truthful answer - as a way to avoid conflict. In “Overcome Being Conflict Averse” Rich Simpson names this phenomenon and invites leaders to help their congregations move past this conflict avoiding behavior and instead discover how having difficult conversations may instead lead to deeper relationship, healing, and reconciliation.
The Courage to Speak
By Bonnie Anderson
Speaking up is important in congregations headed down the path of – or embroiled in – conflict and angst. In “The Courage to Speak” Bonnie Anderson reminds congregational leaders of the promise we made in our baptismal covenant to respect the dignity of every human being. She offers approaches for clergy and laity to consider that might head off these difficult situations.
Too Young to Lead?
By Liz Luna
Finding people to fill leadership roles can be a challenging. One approach is to provide opportunities for members, including youth and young adults, to develop leadership skills - as helpers, assistants, or committee members. As a young teenager, Liz Luna started volunteering at her church’s Sunday School, moving from helper to leader over a three year period. In “Too Young to Lead?” Liz describes the tension created when some adults in her church raised questions regarding who is qualified to be a leader in a particular setting.
Treat the Disease, Not the Symptom
By Jerry Keucher
Leadership and finances are the areas most cited by Episcopal churches as sources of conflict. Jerry Keucher shares why leaders need to address the underlying problem(s) fueling that conflict.
¿Demasiado joven para liderar?
By Liz Luna
Encontrar a gente para llenar posiciones de liderazgo puede ser un reto. Un método consiste en ofrecer oportunidades para toda la feligresía, incluyendo la juventud y las personas jóvenes adultas, para desarrollar habilidades de liderazgo - como ayudantes, asistentes, como parte de algún comité. Cuando era una joven adolescente, Liz Luna comenzó como voluntaria en de la Escuela Dominical de su iglesia, pasando de ayudante a líder durante un período de tres años. En "¿Demasiado joven para liderar?" Liz describe la tensión creada cuando algunas personas adultas en su iglesia plantearon preguntas acerca de quién está calificado o calificada para ser un o una líder.