Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Those of us who have received bad news regarding our health know how shocking, devastating, frightful, and unsettling those moments can be. Family doctors often ask us to come to those fateful appointments, which we fear might signal the end of our lives, accompanied by a loved one.

On the one hand we are overcome with astonishment, sorrow, and fear. We tell ourselves “My God, why me, why now, when no one in my family has had this type of cancer. I take care of myself, I exercise, I lead a healthy life.” On the other hand, survival instincts go into full gear and new strengths that seems to come from deep within our beings become focused on the details of when and where different procedures will take place to treat the disease, to cure us, and to make our hope to go on living a reality.

For the faithful, we cling to our faith in a God who is present and stands by us, who will give us the necessary strength to face the disease and who will also strengthen our loved ones who are experiencing the illness with us. If we are able to overcome the emotional burden of everything we are told, for example cancer treatment and what it will entail, we tend to seek further information and we might even seek a second or third opinion. Otherwise, we just follow instructions and trust in the medical procedures.

It is for those who hear only where and when their disease will be treated, disregarding the why of that treatment, that I deeply believe pastoral accompaniment is extremely important. To show the importance of the need for pastoral support, I will share my experience with María del Carmen, a woman I have followed very closely and to whom I have given both spiritual and pastoral support since the moment she received the news of her cancer, as well as during her operation and chemotherapy treatments.

Recently María del Carmen asked me to go with her to her first radiation appointment. According to her, the therapy was going to start that same day. Since I had gone with her to several chemotherapy sessions I figured that this appointment was what she was telling me it was: “They are going to make a mark on my breast for the radiation therapy.” We were both surprised when we realized that in fact it was an initial visit with the oncology nurse and oncology radiology doctor. The nurse explained what to expect in detail over the six-week course of radiation, starting with what was needed to prepare for those six weeks. When the oncologist arrived it was explained why the radiology treatment was necessary and its importance for María del Carmen’s survival.

Right after the appointment I very gently asked María del Carmen if she had any questions about what she had heard from the nurse and the radiology oncologist. Her answer worried me because she did not seem to know the purpose of the radiation treatments nor where she had to go for her treatments. I invited her for lunch and when we finished we sat down in the park near her house. There I told her what I had heard during the appointment. I also got her a book to read in Spanish, if she chose to, about radiation treatment.

It was in that moment with María del Carmen that I realized the importance of offering pastoral accompaniment to initial medical appointments because it is in those first moments of surprise and pain that neither patients nor family members are paying attention to what is actually being said to them about their illnesses and medical procedures.

There is no more sacred moment in our lives than when we are able to serve those around us with love and humility. Christ constantly teaches us with his acts of kindness and compassion, acts that envelop our spirit and profoundly make us experience the divine among us. It is that power of the Spirit that gently and lovingly calls us, softly and clearly inspiring and guiding us to connect with the suffering, the pain, the surprise, the uncertain moment, the confusion, and the plight of another.

Ema Rosero-Nordalm is missioner for Hispanic ministries in the Episcopal Diocese of Massachusetts. Ordained as a deacon, her work includes Spanish language and cultural translation for trainings, including Safe Church, Eucharistic Visitor, and antiracism trainings. She also gathers and documents best practices in congregations where there are people who are Hispanic to help with the development and implementation of strategy for Hispanic ministry in the diocese.

She works closely with Anthony Guillén, the Episcopal Church’s officer for Latino/Hispanic Ministries, supporting communities of faith that nourish, strengthen, and develop disciples of Christ in the Anglican tradition within Spanish-speaking communities. Ema also serves as a member of ECF Vital Practices' Latino Advisory Committee and offers a monthly blog in Spanish on ECF Vital Practices.

Resources

• Association for Episcopal Deacons

• Congregations and the Daily Missions of Their Members
  

• Family Caregiver Alliance and Español

• Good Grief Work - Free booklet for use with those in the grieving process. Includes tools for emotional healing, Bible study, exercises, and advice for coping on holidays. Package of 5 booklets and one extensive bibliography.

• Living Compass - A whole new direction in personal, family, and congregational wellness.

• Lotsa Helping Hands

• Member Mission - Resources for meeting the desire of every church leader’s heart for a way to help the baptized to live out their role in God’s mission daily from Monday to Sunday.

• Resources from the National Episcopal Health Ministries