Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

“This is no place for children.”

The usher clucked, then shook his head and muttered a few other dismissals.

Heat rose from the pit of my stomach, filled my chest and sucked out the joy. I held to the hand of our 2-year-old daughter, who had been asked to be an oblation bearer (along with me) for her daddy’s (and my husband’s) ordination.

“This is exactly the place for children,” I said tightly, then pasted on a smile as we processed down the aisle.

A few days later, the priest of the church approached me, I was sure, to apologize. Instead, he berated me, saying I mishandled the situation and didn’t understand church decorum.

Yesterday, we attended worship there, eight years after this incident. The leadership – ordained and lay – was different, and I had heard they made the deliberate decision to practice hospitality, instead of just paying it lip service. Still, I entered with trepidation. 

The usher greeted us at the door with a warm smile and a comment about the weather. Another set of ushers asked us if we had any questions about the service or the facilities. During the peace, people welcomed us with handshakes and eye contact -- and two women told our son how much they enjoyed his drawings on the back of the worship bulletin. After the service, each of the priests talked with us -- and our children, asking them about their new school and the excitement of a move. 

In Jeremiah, scripture asks, “Can a leopard change its spots?” 

At this church, the answer is yes.