Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Few things can pull a teen girl’s eyes from the allure of a smartphone. But enter a wiggly toddler or shy kindergartner, and the phone finds its way to the back jean pocket.

A colleague offered some insight: the young teens can play. It’s not hip to play with dolls when you’re 13. Even if you want to. Pretend play likely lands a teen girl into trouble or social exile. But these young teens, 13 and 14 years old, are still in the time-between. They’re not adults, even if they desperately want to be treated as such, and they’re not kids. But they sometimes still feel the pull to the simpler joys of being a child. When they play with 3, 4, and 5-year-olds, they can indulge that inner child and feed that desire to be seen as grown-up and responsible. It’s a delight to witness—and a godsend for parents needing a break!

Our congregation has been exploring Messy Church this summer. In the stead of a fading Vacation Bible School, Messy Church is an intergenerational program designed to engage people in scripture and in relationships. At the last class of the summer, attendance held steady at about 30-35. We gathered first for a light dinner and fellowship. Then we broke into groups and explored the stories of the plight of the Israelites through clay, crayons, and sugar cubes.
There was a lot of laughter, some serious building (sugar cubes and frosting make excellent materials for constructing temples!), and new friendships forged. When I asked the 3-year-old granddaughter of a parishioner if she thought I was older or younger, she responded in all seriousness, “Way, way, way older.” Giving her a chance for redemption, I said that maybe I was just a little bit older. But no. The girl was insistent (and right!). I am way, way, way, way older. But for the night, I got to be a kid at the craft table. And it was fun.

All of this brings me to an important thought: I wonder if we have enough fun together in our churches? Do we invite play? Do we encourage silly? 

Jesus told his disciples to let the children come to him. Jesus knew and is telling us still that children have much to teach us. Are we willing to learn? 

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