Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

A questionable email has sunk many a ship. Or at least set adrift relationships, events, and momentum.

Like many technology tools, email can be a wonderful help. But used without care, it can create problems.

I’m sure you’ve received emails that sound snippy or snarky. Ones with a brusque tone or a stern directive. Tone is hard to convey via keystrokes.

Church settings are not immune from these problems. The priest sends a quick email from a phone; the parishioner thought the response was too short or not pastoral enough. The relationship is damaged, especially if the parishioner doesn’t follow up and explain the concern. The church secretary denies a request for meeting space but doesn’t articulate the reason (there’s a wedding, a funeral, a fall festival, etc.). The recipient feels slighted. Emails circulate among the vestry about a particularly thorny issue. Some participants write long, detailed responses. Others respond: OK. But I’m still voting no. 

Email can be tricky. 

During parent-teacher conferences last week, my daughter’s language arts teacher asked me about my job as an editor. What’s the best advice you can give to sixth graders about editing? I mused for a moment. This was not the place for a great debate about the serial comma or Chicago versus AP style. 

My answer: After you’ve written and after you think you’re done editing, read the sentence or story aloud. If it sounds wonky, rewrite. Your ear will catch some tone problems as well as issues with word choice, rhythm, and flow. And when you read out loud, you often look at the sentences in a new way, and you’re likely to catch grammatical errors too—a dropped consonant or a tricky noun-verb agreement problem. 

I recommend the same for email messages. Not every one, mind you. Our offices would be overcome with low-level muttering as we read and reread each email. But for the tricky ones, read them aloud before you hit send. Does how the message sounds match your intent? Does part of the text seem strident when you meant assertive? 

On the one hand, email etiquette seems small in comparison to big issues like spiritual growth, Christian formation, and leadership development. On the other hand, sometimes the small things make the big steps possible.