Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

What do icebergs and churches have in common?

I recently spoke with the Rev. Eric Law, founder of the Kaleidoscope Institute, which helps churches communicate across cultural boundaries. During our conversation he introduced the idea of church and personal icebergs.

An iceberg has the visible portion, which he equates with our conscious behaviors, but the majority of the iceberg is beneath the water. As individuals, our unconscious behaviors and beliefs are ‘beneath the water,’ and they often bump into others’ behaviors and beliefs.

Churches also have their own icebergs, those unconscious patterns and norms that we often don’t recognize, and all of this is going on beneath the water. If you’ve been going to an Episcopal Church for awhile, there are few things you know how to do without thinking too hard: take communion, find the hymn in the hymnal, find your friends at coffee hour. It’s easy to forget that these are not intuitive. Still, we’re usually aware of these barriers to visitors, which is why so many churches offer instructions in the bulletin.

Beyond that we may be unintentionally ‘knocking others about’ without realizing it. Your church might lean to the left or right, and drive off those who aren’t. It may value those who are outspoken as leaders more highly than those with a more quiet style of leadership.

The solution is to look beneath the water and ask ourselves questions: Who isn’t at our church and why? Does our church unconsciously cater to a certain age group or race, or people of a certain income level?

Once we see these patterns, it will be easier communicate with others, and recognize our differences. There’s nothing wrong with having all that ice beneath the surface; it’s just the way we’re raised, our culture, and our genetics. These are not things to be ashamed of, but they should be discussed and looked at closely.

Perhaps you can ask someone unfamiliar with your church or the Episcopal faith to visit and give you feedback. You can ask yourselves how diverse your church is, and if any of your behaviors are keeping it from becoming more diverse. You may want to bring in someone with training to help you see your iceberg (the Kaleidoscope Institute offers resources and workshops).

Your iceberg, all the unconscious behaviors and beliefs beneath the surface, can affect everything from your coffee hour to your vestry meetings. We may invite everyone to the table, but if we’re all bumping knees under the table, maybe we better look beneath the surface.