Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

The other day I attended a fire and emergency safety training at work. The instructor, who has many years of experience as a New York City fireman, talked to us about which staircase to use in case of a fire, what to do in case of an earthquake (stay inside), etc. He also said that when he’s training fire safety directors, he tells them to always tell people why when giving instructions. Sometimes people should stay in the building, but if you don’t tell people why, they’ll just leave the building.

“Always tell people why or they’ll leave the building,” seems to me like good advice for religious communities. Americans are not inclined to blindly follow instructions. For whatever cultural and historical reasons, we hate being left in the dark, whether it’s why we perform a certain action in our liturgy or why an event was cancelled or why the staff member left.

We’re often especially hesitant to talk directly about conflict within the church, but avoiding these topics just leaves an empty space we will inevitably fill with speculation. We are apt to fill in the gaps with our own fears and anxieties. Sometimes a church might have to ask an unruly person to leave a service, or the church may have to cancel a program because of a lack of funding, and it is best to address these events as directly as possible. Of course, we must consider confidentiality for the sake of parishioners and staff, but neither should we pretend like nothing is wrong.

Our instructor was very direct about possible disasters, in a way that was a little unsettling, but also made me feel like I was being treated like an adult who could handle the truth. As adults, we all know that bad things happen, and we should not avoid subjects simply because they are difficult. Jesus was not afraid to give his disciples difficult news, because he trusted them and they trusted him.

This advice does not only apply to negative events, however. Especially as a church with a long history and traditions that have been built up over hundreds of years, it is helpful to talk about why we do things in our liturgies. It’s often not obvious to newcomers (and even cradle Episcopalians) why we cross ourselves at certain times during the service, or the meaning of the Eucharist, or why we call our priests father. And if your community is trying something new, it is especially important to explain why. If your church seems like it is trying out new things at random, or its liturgies seem arbitrary, it can turn away people in frustration.

Sometimes, of course, we simply want to be swept up in the beauty and mystery of liturgy and scripture, but eventually we want to know why. We want to understand. If no one is talking about why, then people start to leave the building, and the community.