Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

My wife is a band director at a public middle school. A few years ago the principal of the school led the teachers through a process of how to apologize (loosely based upon the process outlined by Randy Pausch). This way students can buy-in to why they are apologizing and take steps toward reconciliation. The process is three-fold. First, say and mean the words, “I am sorry.” Next, say and mean the words, “I take full responsibility.” Finally, ask and mean the question, “How can I make it up to you?”

These words might yield thoughtful introspection on the nature of contrition, confession, and penance. For the purposes of this piece, I wish to jettison the meaning of the words in favor of the process – say how you feel, acknowledge the imbalance in the situation, take action (or at least offer to take action) – as it relates to thanksgiving.

Many of those who give of their time to the Church toil in thankless positions. Who remembers the flower arrangers? Who honors the acolytes? Who heaps accolades on the church secretary? What about office volunteers? Or sextons? Money counters? The altar guild? Lay ministers of nearly every description? Who says, “thank you” to any of these people? Often these ministers are addressed only when there is a problem and then not always in the most helpful ways.

This is a season when the culture gives lip-service to being thankful, but part of thanksgiving means actually giving thanks. Perhaps the Church could model that according to the formula above and we could start with those who give so much of themselves to the Church. So, here's the challenge . . .

1. Say how you feel. 
2. Acknowledge the imbalance in the situation. 
3. Take action (or at least offer to take action). 

A potential exchange might look something like this: 

1. I appreciate you and all that you do for our parish. 
2. This place would not be the same without your ministries here. 
3. What can I do for you to help you in these ministries?

Try it. Try going deeper in this way. Live into the cultural season of thanksgiving, returning to the eucharistic roots of the holiday. What better time could there be?