Yesterday, The Episcopal Church’s House of Deputies concurred with the House of Bishops to adopt a resolution which authorizes provisional use of the rite “The Witnessing and Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant” starting Dec. 2 (the first Sunday of Advent). The vote was not a close vote in either house (Bishops, 74%; Deputies, Lay, 76% and Clergy 78%). The resolution, liturgy, and commentary can be found beginning on page 184 in the Blue Book. (The convention made some slight revisions to the version of the rite included in the report.) Clergy will need the permission of their bishops to provide this rite, so its use will vary from diocese to diocese.
Many will be upset or even angry about this decision. Many others will be grateful for the new opportunities for ministry that will be made possible by this decision. Still others will not have strong feelings about it one way or the other. Who could be surprised by these reactions? After all, our Church is made up of “all sorts and conditions” of people!
Whatever your response is to this decision, I offer the following pastoral perspectives.
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The best beer in the world is made by Trappist monks in Belgium. Or this is what I was told by 99% Invisible, a podcast I listen to occasionally. The beer is called Westvletern 12, and in order to purchase it you must call one of the monks and make a reservation. If you are able to get through (the line is often busy), you must drive to the monastery in Flanders, Belgium, and pick your case. One per person. Except for a growing black market, there is no other way to get the beer.
Lots of people want to buy the beer, but they monks aren’t really interested in making more. The podcast concludes that, “The ‘customer service’ is not designed to provide convenience for the consumer of their beer, it is designed for monks themselves. Their ‘customer’ is God, so to speak.” The monks make beer so that they can afford to be monks. They are monks first, brewers second.
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My assignment at this [77th General] convention has been to track the movement to re-organize the entire structure of the Episcopal Church. A strong consensus has emerged that it is time to re-boot the way we are set-up – General Convention, Office of the Presiding Bishop, Church Center staff, Provinces, Commissions and Committees – calling into question the whole shebang.
This morning the Legislative Committee on Structure moved forward on how we are going to get this done.
They considered resolutions that would have called for a constitutional convention, a special convention, a change to a unicameral house, and ones that would have assured whatever group gets to decide would have a large percentage of young adults involved.
What they have come up with is a plan for special commission accountable only to the next General Convention that is to propose the full re-organization by November of 2014. To come up with their plan, they will be required to engage dioceses, provinces, individual congregations and “other interested individuals and organizations not often heard from.”
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My church is in the midst of making some big decisions about governance, and a member of our advisory committee gave us some helpful advice. He pointed out that individuals who are not fully committed to the community sometimes can have an inordinate amount of sway. Perhaps they threaten to leave if we change the music, for example. We, as a community, want to grow and be a place where all are welcome, so we may be inclined to bend over backwards to keep them around. This isn’t always the best course of action.
We all know someone who has gotten angry about a particular decision the church has made. Sometimes we are that person. It could be the choice of hymns, the new vestments, or the decision to replace pews with chairs. Much of theology is intuitive and personal, and what may be a small matter to some may have deep personal and theological significance to another. How do we proceed?
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When she was about 8, my daughter decided to throw a party. She selected a theme, planned the menu and activities, and invited the guests. What I didn’t know at the time was that she also planned how she expected her guests to act. And then got very upset when they didn’t.
This memory came flooding back as I read this line by LeeAnne Watkins: “I feel like I’m selling something that people don’t want—and then getting mad at them for not wanting it.”
LeeAnne’s article “This just isn’t working: When people don’t show up,” was posted on The Christian Century website on June 4, 2012. She’s sharing her congregation’s decision to cancel all of its adult education and midweek services and her decision to stop “getting seduced by the latest thing that’s supposed to work, putting mountains of energy into making it really good and then getting cranky with people because they don’t come. So we stopped it all.”
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Sometimes the bend of my learning curve has been more like an arrow: the amount of knowledge I have on a subject can only go up.
When I interviewed for my job at the diocese, I told them it was great that we'd have two people in communications--I could handle the writing and media relations while the other person, a techie, could oversee the computers. A decade later, due to convergence and downsizing, I oversee IT for the office. Talk about steep learning curve.
So I went to the bookstore, this being the days before e-books, and I bought the
Complete Idiot's Guide to Information Technology. The brazen color cover notwithstanding, I learned a tremendous amount. Those types of books are fantastic for catching you up on the vernacular. Little text bubbles defined unfamiliar terms, and soon I could have preliminary discussions without feeling like I was in a foreign land.
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Do we really need another….?
…committee, task force… soup kitchen…, website???? Might our time, talent, and treasure be better served by looking around, seeing who is doing similar work, and joining forces?
This question came to mind after reading a Boston Globe letter to the editor. Headlined “Boston already tells its story, it just needs to be better organized,” the letter writer suggested that the people championing a new museum to tell Boston’s story might instead choose invest in ways Boston’s existing museums (of which there are many) might collaborate and cooperate to “make the existing cast of museums better known and more successful in illuminating the history of Boston and Massachusetts.” The author, Albert H. Whitaker suggested, “Rather than simply throwing millions of dollars into a new museum, more thought should be given to the possibility that such investment would be better placed in already established institutions.”
This message resonated with me. As ECF Vital Practices’ editor, I spend a lot of time looking for thriving congregations and ‘vital practices’ to share with congregational leaders. Many times, this vitality goes hand in hand with congregations and Episcopal organizations that choose to collaborate before beginning to create.
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I used to think I couldn’t speak in tongues.
Several years ago, I reported on a story about Jews and Pentecostals coming together to learn about the Passover meal of seder.
When the photographer and I arrived, we met the Jewish couple in the parking lot of the church. As we entered, we were warmly embraced by members of the congregation. It was easy to tell the interlopers: the four of us were white, the rest of the congregation was African-American.
The pastor asked us all to join hands and stand for the opening prayer. About 20 minutes into the prayer, one of the Pentecostal women began speaking a language I didn’t understand. I recognized the cadence and emotion – she was beseeching the Lord. But I didn’t have any clue what she was saying.
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This weekend I came across some research which gave me pause.
In the 1980s, two MIT researchers looked at the relationship between how long a working group had been together and that working group’s communication with “outsiders”. The key premise of their research was that the most effective working groups frequently receive feedback from people outside their immediate sphere. Outside feedback included the suggestions and insights of those whom they were serving, conversations with people doing work in a similar field, or the insights of consultants brought in to assist with a project. Not surprisingly, the research found that the longer a working group had been together, the less they seemed to want feedback from the outside. In The Leadership Challenge, James Kouzes and Barry Posner summarize the MIT researchers' results as follows:
They’d been together so long, it appears, that they felt they didn’t need to talk to outsiders. They were content just to talk to each other. It’s easy to understand, therefore, how some workgroups and organizations become myopic and unimaginative. The people themselves aren’t dull or slow-witted; they’ve just become too familiar with their routines and isolated from outside influences.
Does this sound as familiar to you as it does to me?
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In 2009, General Convention passed a resolution to create resources for same-gender blessings. These resources are an attempt to create tools, including theological and liturgical resources, for those same-gender couples that feel called to form a lifelong covenant with each other.
Bowie Snodgrass was on the committee that produced a liturgy for same-gender blessings. She also founded Faith House, and has been a lay minister for many years in various capacities. I spoke with her about the experience of working on the committee and helping create the same-gender liturgy.
The process, she explained, was a communal one. The committee met between July 2009 and August 2010. They collected preexisting ceremonies from many different people, wrote and rewrote a ceremony, and received feedback from various communities and individuals, including the Anglican Liturgical Consultation, which they incorporated into the liturgy. “So much was worked over and over that it really came out of the group and the feedback and the movement of the Holy Spirit,” she said. “It really is a work of the people.”
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Is anyone else concerned about our church’s impassioned embrace of depression as we look toward General Convention and a challenging future? The Episcopal blogosphere is full of articles underscoring our grim institutional trajectory. A couple of the best are from Episcopal Journey of Hope – Where Have All the Rectors Gone? – a stark appraisal of declining job opportunities in the Midwest, and from The Crusty Old Dean – Guns, Germs and the Episcopal Church, a challenge to the church to radically restructure or collapse.
A few observations:
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I’m not gonna lie. The idea of turning 40 sucked.
I spent some time moping last week. It didn’t help that my kids started teasing, calling me oldy-moldy or old-and-crusty. Then a co-worker prefaced a question to me with “O, ancient one.” He was referring to my 10 years on diocesan staff (I think), but I was feeling a little raw.
But on my birthday – and throughout the weekend, somehow the number didn’t bother me at all.
Without a few years behind me, I wouldn’t have old friends to remind me how the smell of tomatoes made my stomach turn when I was pregnant with my first child. There wouldn’t be a table full of parents and in-laws, my children and nieces and nephews, talking over one another as we share schnitzel and spatzle at my favorite German restaurant.
Without growing older, I couldn’t witness my 10-year-old daughter crossing the finish line of her first 5K or feel my son’s arms wrap around me, his head nuzzling in the hollow of my neck. I couldn't lace my fingers through my husband's, absently holding his hand, knowing each callous and scar.
I stopped feeling old and started feeling blessed.
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For a decade, I’ve been telling readers of our diocesan newspaper about summer camp. It’s an amazing, life-changing experience for most kids, but I couldn’t bring myself to use those same words for the tenth time to promote camp.
I suspect fellow communicators and parish administrators suffer the same event fatigue. How can you present in fun and creative ways the annual spaghetti dinner/Christmas bazaar/work day/pancake breakfast?
Here’s what I did with summer camp this year:
With one of the camping coordinators, we took a cue from the playfulness of camp and created a board game of sorts. Instead of the typical “move three spaces,” we added some fun instructions. Time for rest. Don’t move. Grow closer to God. Be moved. Make new friends. Move over.
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Today, I’m attending my first “Card Party” at my new congregation.
I know I’ll have a great time kibitzing with women of all ages, visiting over the specialty sandwiches, and bidding with abandon on baskets of goodies. I like this kind of event. Seriously.
But from what I hear from the organizers, it’s time for a makeover. Preparing for the event is an enormous job, from soliciting thousands of dollars of donations from parishioners and community businesses, transforming the fellowship hall into a festive space, and recruiting volunteers to set-up, serve, and clean-up. Then there’s the act of selling tickets to a card party where cards are no longer played, and it runs from 11 am to 2 pm on a weekday.
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It’s time to add the slide to our pew-aerobics repertoire.
We all know the rule of real estate: location, location, location.
Of course, this is true in the pew as well. Prime spots tend to be about a halfway back, close enough to be noticed but not so close that the priest can tell if you’re playing Words with Friends during the sermon.
I noticed yesterday another spot that is held dear by many parishioners: the aisle seats. As I walked into the nave, I saw that the pews looked like the hairline of a middle-aged man – full on the sides and empty down the middle.
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Ever wonder why we can’t get out of this rut?
Maybe it’s a question you’ve asked as you went to the same job, in the same place, after leaving the same house and the same family so often it feels like life has no more zest. Why do I feel stuck, wedged, and jammed into a slot that’s getting more and more uncomfortable?
Feeling stuck is often an ironic result of lives constructed to help us feel the opposite. We crave freedom and fulfillment, often as a product of our deepest fears around security, abandonment, and acceptance. These fears can often be at the heart of the big choices we make surrounding work, home, and family. And as we construct lifestyles to assuage these feelings we build frameworks, habits, and traditions that form ruts.
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I dreaded the meeting.
Negative, sometimes brutal messages on listservs, blogs, and other forums had drained my energy, twisting and dampening my anticipation of connecting with colleagues.
If it ends up being three days of more of the same, then that’s it. I’m done, I told myself.
On the night before the meeting, the dark place bubbled up, and I bared my frustrations to a small group. For someone who rarely cries, the tears came unbidden.
They were shocked. They expressed their support. And mostly, they listened.
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“That was a wake-up call,” my friend said, taking a deep breath. We were discussing a difficult time in her marriage. She recounted a moment of clarity, realizing “I’ve been through this before…I know this pattern. It’s not a good one.”
She wondered aloud about denial – how often she may have ignored or minimized the behaviors that kept them stuck in the relationship. They hadn’t lost their love for each other; she always held out hope it would get better. But on a day to day basis, it was easier – especially with busy jobs, graduate school, and two kids – to “normalize” their reality and just keep holding on as best she could. To really “wake up” to the sadness or anger about how unsatisfying the relationship had become would take a lot of energy, a lot of resolve. Plus, what would she do then? What tough choices would she have to make?
Soon after this conversation I read the articles in this month’s Vestry Papers on “Death and Resurrection.” They struck a chord, especially when Tommy Dillon described the moment when leaders of his congregation had to decide to let go of a key ministry program:
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Greetings.
Much has been written about the overall decline in mainline denominations. Tom Ehrich and others are calling for a ‘new way of doing business‘ – and throughout our church, congregational leaders struggle with the reality of declining membership, aging buildings, and limited financial resources.
This month, ECF Vital Practices shares stories of three different approaches to facing the potential ‘death’ of an existing way of being church and exploring ways to transform the underlying vitality into new ways of responding God’s call. Our fourth article offers congregational leaders a model to help worshippers begin to explore ways to stretch their understanding of what God is calling us to do in the world.
Here’s what you’ll find:
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Nota - Este artículo esta disponible en español aquí.
Like many congregations, the Episcopal Church Foundation is currently in the midst of many changes. My friend and colleague Anne Ditzler is heading for greener pastures after 14 years of being with ECF (she is literally leaving us for a beautiful organic farm in Western Massachusetts), and I am in the midst of transitioning into a new role.
Change is on our minds and so it’s no surprise that our most recent writing focuses on this important topic. Last week, Anne wrote about
Appropriate Pace of Change.
This week, however, I’ve decided to write about resistance to change and I’ve decided to do so by highlighting the voices of vestry members who are dealing with this sort of resistance. The following comments are derived from six surveys that
ECF Vital Practices conducted in 2011 and 2012. While these comments specifically address why nothing has changed since they started reading
ECF Vital Practices, their comments touch on aspects of change including group dynamics, control issues, overall busyness, etc.
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