Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

I just got back from the post office where I sent off my grant application to the Lilly Foundation for my first sabbatical in 30 years of ministry. Whether we get the funding or not, we are pushing ahead with a shared renewal experience for me and the church in the first four months of the coming year.

It’s about music. For me, I get to explore guitar and drumming, visit Africa and Taize, France and hang out for a month with one of the Episcopal Church’s most gifted musicians, Dent Davidson. For the congregation, it will be an exploration of the hidden gifts for music in the community, an opportunity to explore new hymnody, and go deeper in our Taize practice that has become an important part of our worship life.

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Blanche DuBois relied on the kindness of strangers, but I am thankful for the kindness of Facebook.

Already this morning, dozens of people from across every stage of my life have taken a moment to wish happy birthday on Facebook. On the surface, it seems trivial, I suppose – a quick typing of a few good wishes.

But for the recipient, it feels like a mini-episode of this-is-your-life. I get to remember my kindergarten best friend and Taco Bell runs and Choir Tour trips with my church youth group. I think about college all-nighters and lazy afternoons on the quad. There are happy wishes from colleagues during my newspaper years – including an unusual five May 11 birthdays from my time covering city hall in Fort Wayne, Ind.

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A 22-year-old woman visited our church for the first time last Sunday. We talked for a bit, and then I shared that in addition to my husband and me, the congregation has several other young couples. 

Later, I realized: she must have thought I was crazy. I still think of myself as young, but this week, I’ll be 39 (for the first time), actually old enough to be this woman’s mother.

I have two kids and a mortgage, but in my mind, I’m about 30ish, with some responsibilities but without the stodginess I always associated with getting older. I just don’t think of myself on the cusp of middle age.

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I’m a firm believer: Children should be seen and heard in church.

About eight years ago, we started an Episcopal church in a fast-growing area with few community buildings. Our only option for a meeting site was a small, one-room township hall with a mini-kitchen and restrooms. We couldn’t tuck the young children into a nursery, making the experience easier for both parents and kids, so we spread out a quilt in front of the altar. The toddlers played with cars and books. They colored and rolled around and jabbered, their noise woven into the movement of the liturgy.

I’ve been in many Episcopal churches where the only sounds are the high whine of a hearing aid battery and the thump of a walking cane.

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Easter dinner doesn’t normally make me feel holy.

Happy? Yes. Full to the brim with succulent ham, dumplings, green beans and three-layer chocolate cake? Yes, definitely.

But holy? Not so much. That normally happens during the triumphant strains of "Lift High the Cross" in morning worship.

But a few years ago, I glimpsed heaven at our Easter banquet.

My family traveled in for the weekend – both parents, even though six weeks earlier they had announced their separation. We invited another couple, partners for more than 20 years. At the last minute, plans for Easter dinner fell through for other friends, and we invited them too.

Ray came in to the church straight from his overnight shift at Kroger. He had wandered into the fellowship hall in January, cold from sleeping under a bridge. He warmed up with coffee and donuts and stayed for worship. He didn’t miss a Sunday for the next four months.

People in the congregation helped him find a place to stay, put in a good word at the grocery store and assisted with some other necessities.

With Ray still wearing his grocery store smock, we asked him to join us for Easter dinner. He declined, saying he needed to spend the afternoon at the Laundromat.

Bring them to our house. We'll throw the clothes in the wash before dinner. 

My husband drove him to the motel where he was staying, and Ray packed all of his clothes in a small garbage bag. When they arrived, we started the washing machine. Then Ray stood in a corner, uncertain.

I handed him a carton of hard-boiled eggs and a butter knife, and he and my 6-year-old worked together on the deviled eggs.

We carried all of the dishes into the dining room, then joined hands to pray. I snuck a peek around the table: Here we were together, holding hands, straight and gay, young and old, conservative and liberal, wealthy and homeless.

My heart knew then: Heaven feels like this. Then I closed my eyes and re-joined the praying.

Most mornings when I wake up, my husband brings me a cup of coffee. When I’m at a hotel by myself, I make the coffee right after waking up.

My first morning in Memphis, I was mildly annoyed when I noticed the pot was missing from the coffee maker. There were packets of coffee, sugar and creamer, and cups, but no pot. I asked some of my colleagues and learned there were no coffee pots in their rooms either. What was the matter with this hotel? Didn’t they know the coffee pots were missing?

A chance remark on my third day in Memphis opened my eyes: single cup coffee machines. Of course! I had been so CERTAIN the coffee makers had pots that I was stuck in an old way of thinking and blind to other possibilities.

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As part of our Lenten series on spirituality and social justice, Will, a new parishioner, taught one class on the use of daily Morning Prayer. He came to us from the Roman Catholic Church and has absolutely fallen maddeningly in love with the Book of Common Prayer. He has now finished the full two-year cycle of Daily Office readings and the constant repetition of all the psalms that a devotion to Morning Prayer provides to a faithful person.

However, he has never, ever experienced Morning Prayer as a corporate form of worship. As an old Episcopalian formed in the Diocese of Southern Ohio that blows my mind.

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Roscoe doesn’t look like the rest of us.

Whatever word he had tattooed across his knuckles has faded into unrecognizable squiggles. His hair, though neatly combed, hangs over his ears, several months past a cut. He talks about Jesus and the end times quite a bit, sometimes a little more than this sedate Episcopal crowd knows how to handle.

Roscoe started coming to the Wednesday night Bible study after Christmas. He stays afterward for a recovery meeting. 

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This is the second of two blogs I am sharing from Katrina Hamilton who represented the Diocese of Olympia at the church-wide consultation on Same-Sex Blessings in Atlanta. Katrina is the 25-year-old head of our deputation to next year’s General Convention which will be the third time she has served as a deputy.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

On our final day here I was reminded about the power of a voice. Today was not the first time (nor do I imagine the last) that someone has thanked me for talking. This has always seemed strange to me, especially because in junior high and high school talking too much often made me the object of ridicule. Back then it was seen as pushy and strange. At times, people seemed to think I was downright crazy for my tendency to express whatever I wanted to anyone, regardless of the situation.

In recent years I've received compliments, many of them during church events such as this. I never understood why until today.

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In my two blogs this week I will be aggregating messages from Katrina Hamilton who represented the Diocese of Olympia at the church-wide consultation on Same-Sex Blessings in Atlanta. Katrina is the 25-year-old head of our deputation to next year’s General Convention which will be the third time she has served as a deputy.

Thursday, March 17, 2011
On the flight down I was reviewing the current wedding ceremony used by the Episcopal Church. Like many, I was operating under the assumption that the reason this process takes so long had to do with dissension among Episcopalians, and that creating the new liturgy itself would be fairly straight forward. Just take out the parts where it says man and woman, right? I realize now that I had always thought of gay marriage as a justice fight, and never about what success would look like, or how it would sound.

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The 10-ton truck was no match for a long-forgotten septic tank.

The delivery of gravel for the driveway was on course until the truck reached the last section. The weight bore down and crushed the old metal lid. The tire sank into the hole, and the driver called us, a bit panicked.

Our house is one of the oldest in the community, built the year Abraham Lincoln was assassinated.

When you have an old house, you expect things to go wrong: There are no level floors. Horsehair plaster requires a delicate touch. A small electrical project often morphs into re-wiring of an entire room. And old driveways sometimes cover up older septic tanks.

But with the inconvenience comes the high ceilings where decades of laughter linger like puffs of cigar smoke. There’s the wooden banister that has supported hundreds of climbs to the second floor and the French doors with wavy glass and white pine that welcomed friends and family for almost 150 years.

This old house reminds me of many of our churches – grand beauties with breathtaking curves and buttresses. Stained glass windows that cast kaleidoscope shadows year after year. Knee-shaped indentations at the altar, rubbed smooth by earnest and beseeching prayers.

Yet within the body of our churches, we often have real problems that we need to address. I’m not talking about long-deferred physical maintenance, but rather issues that we have buried in hopes they would be forgotten. Perhaps an argument caused a rift between two long-time families. Perhaps an alcoholic priest shaped a flock into co-dependence. Perhaps a move from one liturgical style to another left some feeling ignored or worthless.

Unless dealt with in an honest and authentic manner, these issues leave a mark on the life of a congregation. It shapes how the congregation interacts with the world, how members care for one another and how they seek to live as disciples of Christ.

I suggest congregations do an annual self-assessment, asking: Are we in a rut? Are we repeating the same bad habits or unhealthy cycles? Are problems from decades ago influencing how we make decisions today?

Are we willing to poke around and find those hidden weak spots – or will we wait until they are unexpectedly uncovered, raw and messy?

Are we willing to ask the tough questions?

If not, I’m afraid some congregations may end up knee deep.

I love this expression. It conjures up times as a kid when I literally pressed my ear to the rocky soil listening for clues about what was going on beneath the surface. 

Years later, I often hear this expression in the context of what it means to be a good leader. Keeping your ear to the ground is a form of deep listening by which we discern the most important messages from the swirl of noise. (And there’s a lot of noise!)

With this in mind, I want to share a method for keeping one’s ear to the ground that I came across while reading Peter F. Drucker’s classic text Managing the Nonprofit Organization: Principles and Practices. In this book, Drucker advises organizational leaders to set aside time to reflect on and discuss the following three areas: 1) unexpected successes 2) demographic changes in the community you serve and 3) shifts in mentality in the wider culture. I’ve added my own thoughts to each of these areas below and hope you will share this info with your fellow congregational leaders.

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The question of how the church must change was the theme of the opening address at The Episcopal Church’s Executive Council meeting in Fort Worth.

As reported by Episcopal News Service, House of Deputies President Bonnie Anderson used part of her opening comments to say that "our society is changing both demographically and economically, the size, and resource base of our Church is changing and the world is changing through climate change, population change, technology and a host of other factors." The church, she said, must respond in ways that are "rooted in our core values as Episcopalians and that includes the gifts of all the people of God in our church."

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For the third year running I am taking part in a clergy action/study group called the Resurgent Church. It comes out of the incredible work of Anne Lukens, a rector in our diocese, who has convened small groups of 8-10 "practitioners" who meet for five hours five times during the year to do praxis on projects of our own choice. My three work projects have been Lay Presidency at the Eucharist, What is the Church at Rest (church buildings as spiritual practice), and now my new project, "Episcopal Church Music in a New Millennium."

These groups go far beyond the typical bitch sessions and gossip groups to be places that we can honestly wrestle with our practice of ministry. Anne continues to revise and refine the framework. Today as we began our first session of my third year, she offered up the following Operating Assumptions and Operating Errors concerning our denomination, our congregations, and our role as pastors that I found incredibly helpful:

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I have attended the new ministry celebrations for two absolutely amazing women priests who have now become rectors in the Diocese of Olympia. Rachel Taber-Hamilton is now in charge of Trinity, Everett, and Carla Pryne is the new pastor for Holy Spirit, Vashon Island. Both are women of deep integrity and experience and both display the now changed face of our church.

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Pull out a stack of post-it notes. With a blue pen, jot down the reality of the Episcopal Church as you see it now. Use one post-it note per idea. With a red pen, write down some of your hopes and vision for the Episcopal Church in the future. Use as many post-it notes as you want. There are no “right” answers. Just create a view of the church from your own particular vantage point.

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As promised, ECF Vital Practices continues to add to its January/February Vestry Papers themed content with two new articles:

Covenants in Congregational Life
In his role as the Episcopal Church’s Missioner for Church Planting, Ministry Redevelopment, and Fresh Expressions, Thomas Brackett has witnessed the power of covenants as a tool for building a healthy congregation. Learn how covenants might help your congregation achieve its goals.

Healthy Transitions: The Role of Leaders Part 2
In part one, Sandra Clark Kolb of Fresh Start shared ways congregational leaders can make the transition from a departing to a new rector a healthy one, by managing both the change (the event itself) and the transition (people’s internal responses). In part two, she focuses on steps congregational leaders can take to lay a welcoming foundation for a new rector.

I invite you to share your ‘Healthy Practices’ with other ECF Vital Practices readers by commenting on an article, blog, or tool or by sharing your own healthy practices in the Your Turn section.

VP Talk: Two New Transcripts

In January, ECF Vital Practices sponsored two VP Talks: Tom Ehrich’s “The End to ‘Business as Usual’” and Mary MacGregor’s “No More Parking Lot Conversations.” Transcripts of both are available on the site.

Building Community: Do You Have a Lenten Resource to Share?

Is your congregation ready for Lent? Have you developed or discovered Lenten resources that you would recommend to others? ECF Vital Practices invites congregations and faith groups to use the Your Turn section of the site to share their Lenten resources and practices with others. Registered users can log in and upload documents or audio, video, or image files directly. Not a registered user? Please visit the ECF Vital Practices homepage and click on “Register.’

March/April Preview

“Caring for God’s Creation” is the theme for the March/April issue of Vestry Papers. Posted online March 1, this issue will offer a variety of hands on resources for congregations interested in reducing their carbon footprint or going green.

Thank You

I want to thank our readers and contributors for helping all of us at ECF Vital Practices build a resource for congregational leaders. The number of unique visitors to our site continues to increase, due in large part to the work many of you are doing to help us spread the word. Please continue to do so.

As always, I welcome hearing from you either through the website or by email,[email protected].

Faithfully,

Nancy Davidge
Editor, ECF Vital Practices

The State of the Union address is a yearly snapshot of where our president thinks our nation stands. The State of the Episcopal Church report published every three years is a snapshot of where our church stands.
In his address, President Obama began with a nostalgic look back at an America that is no more: “Many people watching tonight can probably remember a time when finding a good job meant showing up at a nearby factory or a business downtown. You didn't always need a degree, and your competition was pretty much limited to your neighbors. If you worked hard, chances are you'd have a job for life, with a decent paycheck, good benefits, and the occasional promotion. Maybe you'd even have the pride of seeing your kids work at the same company.” The church, too, has a nostalgic view of 1950s America when the church was growing and Sunday Schools full.

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What happens when your spouse changes? There are times when suddenly a new interest or commitment starts to unfold. Or a voice that’s been lingering deep within suddenly finds it’s way to the surface. Have you had one of those moments when you realize your shared life is about to take a turn?

I’m getting used to these changes after 17 years together. I’ve become pretty good at listening (at least I think so…). I try to pay attention, support my spouse and encourage whatever development is happening. I remember what Frederick Beuchner says of vocation – where one’s deep gladness meets the world’s deep need – and approach the situation with a sense of discernment. I know better than to try to squash the Spirit. (So I say to myself…)

But then, unbidden, comes resistance. Oh, dang…again?! Didn’t we just get settled? Aren’t things fine the way they are? Do we really have to change? (Deep sigh…)

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An announcement of the annual meeting can be as welcome as the postcard reminder of your  dental appointment: You know you’ve got to do it, but you’re not going to enjoy it. 

Often, it seems, annual meetings stick to the same-old agenda -- perfunctory reports from various commissions, a budget update and a reflection by the priest. And, lest we forget, there's the potluck lunch.

Interestingly, for the meal, we bring our best – the deviled eggs, hash brown casserole or fudge brownies that everyone raves over. We all contribute. But when it comes time for the meeting of our parish, we become the audience. 

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