Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

This has been an unusually busy fall for me. For several weeks, I was working on two issues of Trinity News, the magazine I edit for Trinity Wall Street, at the same time. During these weeks I learned several lessons in patience and project management, and now that I can reflect back on the experience, I thought I’d share a few of these lessons:

Set realistic deadlines. It’s easy to think about a single project and set deadlines that seem plausible in a vacuum. The trick is remembering that your project is almost always one of many. When setting deadlines, be honest with yourself about how much time each task will take and consider it in the context of all the other professional and personal demands on your time. Recruit help early. As soon as you know you might need help, ask. This gives people time to arrange their schedules or for you to enlist other people to help if your volunteers or other staff members can’t help. Do the small things sooner rather than later. It’s easy to leave the small, seemingly easy things to the end. I’ve been reminded recently it’s better to do those first, rather than let them accumulate to the crunch week, when everything is coming together. An small and simple task, left to the last minute, can turn into a headache.

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In my past life, I was an active theatrical director and designer. For a few years, I taught theater at a wonderful private school in Texas. During this time I helped to establish a theater program for the school. One of the highlights of this program was the annual musical production, which brought together students of all ages to perform for the school and local community. One year, we put up a fantastic production of The Sound of Music. As a gift for directing this show, a parent gave me a first edition copy of The Story of the Trapp Family Singers, signed by Maria von Trapp. Still one of the coolest editions on my bookshelf. She also gave me a copy of Around the Year with the Trapp Family. When the Trapps came to America from Austria, they brought with them the custom of carrying into daily life the teachings, the beliefs, the feasts and observations of their faith. Life in their home was a continuous response to the cycle and rhythm of the Church year.

In one of my favorite passages from Around the Year with the Trapp Family, Maria tells the story of a family tradition known as "Christkindl" (Christ Child), during the season of Advent:

Mother appears with the bowl, which she passes around. Pieces of paper containing the names of the members of the family and are neatly rolled up, because the drawing has to be done in great secrecy. The person whose name one has drawn is now in one's special care. From this day until Christmas, one has to do as many little favors for him or her as one can. One has to provide at least one surprise every single day — but without ever being found out. This creates a wonderful atmosphere of joyful suspense, kindness, and thoughtfulness. Perhaps you will find that somebody has made your bed or shined your shoes or has informed you, in a disguised handwriting on a holy card, that "a rosary has been said for you today" or a number of sacrifices have been offered up. This new relationship is called "Christkindl" (Christ Child) in the old country, where children believe that the Christmas tree and the gifts under it are brought down by the Christ Child himself. The beautiful thing about this particular custom is that the relationship is a reciprocal one. The person whose name I have drawn and who is under my care becomes for me the helpless little Christ Child in the manger; and as I am performing these many little acts of love and consideration for someone in the family I am really doing them for the Infant of Bethlehem…At the same time I am the "Christkindl" also for the one I am caring for because I want to imitate the Holy Child and render all those little services in the same spirit as He did in that small house of Nazareth, when as a child He served His Mother and His foster father with a similar love and devotion...  It is a delightful custom, which creates much of the true Christmas spirit and ought to be spread far and wide.

I’ve read Maria’s words a number of times, but there are two things that strike me differently on this occasion, as I’ve become steeped in the Asset-Based Community Development approach that we use in our work. 

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In my first year as rector at St. Mary’s in Los Angeles I made several small pilgrimages.

I spent two cold, windy days walking around Manzanar, the best preserved of the camps where Japanese-Americans were imprisoned during World War II.

I walked the streets around the church, block-by-block, alone, and with the vestry.

And I went to visit the grave of Mary Louise Paterson. Ms Paterson was a Canadian-born missionary who had lived in Japan and adopted a daughter there. She and her son-in-law, Dr John Yamazaki, founded St. Mary’s as a mission to Japanese immigrants. John Yamazaki served as St. Mary’s first priest and vicar.

As tends to happen when we converse with the dead, I did most of the talking on my visit with Ms Paterson. I asked for her advice and blessing, and asked her to watch over my ministry. I filled her in on developments in the world and the church since her death in the late 1930s.

While she didn’t talk much that day, occasionally I sense some of the wisdom that Mary Louise Paterson brought to her role at St. Mary’s. One thing that stands out is that she immediately turned her attention to raising up and supporting leaders from within the Japanese immigrant community she had been called to serve. St. Mary’s developed in ways that made sense to the growing Japanese community, and in ways that ensured a Japanese-American vision and local leadership for the mission. The leadership dynasty that St. Mary’s is known for is the Yamazaki family, not Mary Louise Paterson, and rightly so.

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Why is it important for all voices to be heard?
I was at a midsized parish that was in the midst of a feasibility study to determine what support was available for capital improvements. The plan was to look specifically at building accessibility for people who use a wheelchair, walker, or cane. At the time, folks needing a ramp needed to go outside the parish hall in order to access either the sanctuary or the restrooms, which were not accessible for all.
A gentleman, when asked if he would name this as a priority, stated, “I’m not sure I understand why this is a problem. I mean, if someone is in a wheel chair, a couple of us guys can just hoist him up and away he could go. You know, building community in the process.”
You may be surprised, reader, to know that this man later noted that he was almost 85.
It seemed this gentleman was unable to connect with the need of others for dignity and accessibility. 

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The gift came in a reused grocery bag.

“We don’t have a lot of extra money this year,” she said, smiling weakly.

I met her a couple of years ago. She works in the service industry, and I come every six weeks or so for my regular appointment. Almost immediately, we noticed an ease in conversation, even though our worlds are far apart. She grew up poor, the single-mom-working-two-jobs poor, and I lived in a cushy suburb with a stay-at-home mom and a father in a successful career. I went to college on a full scholarship and got a car as a graduation gift; she scraped to finish her GED after she got pregnant. She’s in a good marriage now, but the first was scary, and her daughter no longer speaks to the family. She’s older than me and often weary.

It doesn’t make sense but somehow we’ve carved out a friendship. We both look forward to our meetings. Maybe because there’s no overlap in the rest of our lives, the conversations are candid, with lots of listening and encouragement.

Yet I was still shocked by the gift. Not because I didn’t think we might exchange small tokens for Christmas but because hers was an offering of the heart. 

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“The days are coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will fulfill the good promise I made to the people of Israel and Judah.” Jeremiah 33: 14 (NIV)

In Advent we are taken back to the days when all in Israel were waiting for the Messiah. Our scripture lessons ring with anticipation from prophets like Jeremiah.

As we ponder the expectations of people 2,000 years ago, we may realize we have much in common with our ancient faith ancestors. Some of us are in exile, some are tossed and battered by earthly and evil circumstances, others wander aimlessly. Even those full of hope and joy look forward to new days of the Kingdom of Heaven. Amazingly, on any given Sunday, we’re all together at the 10:00 am service!

A communion of saints are we, each on his/her own journey but nevertheless together in common faith and destiny. How much we learn from each other may depend on how well we intentionally listen and stay open to those who seem far outside our comfort zone.

I will never forget a sweet widow I interviewed during a feasibility study for a capital campaign in a parish in Pennsylvania. We discussed the various projects proposed. It seemed for every one, she had a story. Her children were baptized in the sanctuary, she taught Sunday School in those classrooms; she donated china teacups for service in the lounge. There was no hesitation when asked about her support for the campaign. Of course she would give.

Nothing in the conversation surprised her until I asked if she thought the campaign would be successful. “What do you mean?” she wanted to know. When I explained that questions are being asked to determine how much money could be raised, her bright face suddenly faded.

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I first met the people of the Diocese of El Salvador in 2001 when I visited there in response to a series of earthquakes that had flattened the country. I traveled with a dedicated slate of church leaders who carried water and food to isolated mountain villages, stood in the rain assessing the structural integrity of school and church buildings and reached out their hands to hold Eucharist in the midst of chaos and piles of rubble. 
They were leaders who had been called upon to respond through the years to poverty, gang violence, natural disasters and a significant period of civil war, and they taught me in a few short days about sacrifice, tenacity and hope. 
They knew, then and still, that communities ache for safe strong houses, nutritious food, health services and education – a path to dignity and wholeness. 
Together with those leaders, and with the support of thousands of Episcopalians across the United States, we spent several years building Anglican villages complete with water systems, houses, clinics and social programs. With these relief activities, we planted seeds that we prayed would grow into a solid foundation from which good things could spring, undergirding growing families and enabling them to flourish. 

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This article is also available in English.
La diócesis de Eastern Massachusetts con la guía entusiasta y el liderazgo del Ministro de Jóvenes diocesano, anualmente organiza retiros espirituales para chicos y chicas de todas las edades. La diócesis cuenta con un campamento bellísimo dotado con un espacio extenso en medio de un bosque, un lago y todo lo necesario para albergar y ofrecer todo tipo de actividades a estudiantes tanto de la escuela media como de la escuela secundaria. También este campamento ofrece estadías de una semana a diferentes grupos de jóvenes, así como a familias en invierno y en verano. 
Hace una semana tuve la dicha de participar en un retiro ofrecido a estudiantes de séptimo y octavo grado. Mi labor era servir en el papel de acompañante espiritual y de apoyo pastoral para toda persona que lo necesitara en cualquier momento. Debo decir que quedé sorprendida y llena de admiración al descubrir que estos retiros son creados, organizados y liderados por el Concejo de Jóvenes de la Diócesis. Siendo nuestra diócesis una de las más extensas en geografía, número de congregaciones y culturas en la Iglesia Episcopal, a estos retiros asisten muchos participantes además de los adultos que acompañan a cada grupo de cada congregación. A este retiro asistieron ciento setenta y cinco estudiantes incluidos veinte jóvenes de escuela secundaria a cargo de la organización y las actividades que empezaron el viernes en la noche y terminaron el domingo después del almuerzo. 

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This article has been translated from Spanish. Read the Spanish language version here.
Each year the Diocese of Eastern Massachusetts organizes spiritual retreats for boys and girls of all ages. With great enthusiasm the leadership of the Diocesan Youth Ministry provides room, board, and activities for middle and high school students, in a large, beautiful space in the middle of a forest with a lake. In addition, weeklong stays are offered to groups of youngsters and families in the winter and summer months. 
A week ago I had the good fortune of participating in a retreat offered to 7th and 8th grade students. My role was to serve as spiritual companion offering pastoral support to anyone who needed it. I must say that I was pleasantly surprised and impressed when I discovered that the retreat had been created, organized, and lead by the Diocesan Youth Council. Since our diocese is one of the largest not only in size, but also in number of congregations and cultures in the Episcopal Church, these retreats are very well attended. At this particular one, which started Friday afternoon and ended Sunday after lunch, there were 175 students, including 20 high school students in charge of logistics and activities. 
The theme of the retreat was the “Tree of Life.” First, participants were divided into rotating groups, so that they could get to know one another. Then, there were discussion groups in which were asked pre-planned questions around the notion of our lives as trees, all created by the students. We were then invited to write our answers on the colorfully sketched roots, trunks, branches, and leaves of the tree. There were 15 groups of girls and boys and four groups of accompanying adults. A youth leader facilitated each group. 

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Go, Tell It On The Mountain,
Over the hills and everywhere;
Go, Tell It On The Mountain
That Jesus Christ is born.

In Advent we prepare, we wait, and we share the ancient stories. In this issue of Vestry Papers we invite you to think about the ways you are – or might find opportunities to – share the Good News of Jesus Christ by sharing the stories of how God is working with us and through us to keep the Good News alive in our communities and the world.

Our December issue includes:

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The answer to the title’s question might seem completely obvious to you. Maybe I should’ve made it more controversial. Try this: “Stop Praying (like you’ve been doing) at Church Meetings!” More to the point, I’m suggesting we might benefit by thinking about precisely why and how we pray at church meetings. 

It is or at least should be relatively obvious why we do. We actually believe that God the Holy Spirit is a partner with us in our work of discernment, and being a member of Christ’s own body means, by definition, that our deliberations are a part of the dynamic of the Holy Trinity itself. Prayer is one way to name that mystery. 

It’s just that, sometimes, prayer at church meetings is little more than an add-on (“Okay, let’s get started. Who wants to lead us in prayer?...”) or, equally bad, an agenda pusher itself (“Dear God, help this miserly vestry who seem happy with being habitual penny-pinchers to understand that you are abundant and they really need to cough up for more spending …”) Technically speaking, that is a prayer. 

Or consider these two real-life examples.

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Please, no tree shaming.

I’ve been admiring all the Facebook posts of friends dedicated to honoring the sacred season of Advent. They are setting aside 15 minutes a day for silence and prayer; reading a daily devotional; lighting candles; and engaging in Bible study. They are also abstaining from Christmas decorations and carols. It’s Advent, after all. Prepare your hearts. Christmas doesn’t begin until December 25.

I get all that. I do. But for me, putting up our family Christmas tree is one of the ways I prepare my heart for the coming of the Christ child. We don’t have the Martha Stewart, color-coordinated tree with themes like woodland tree or pinecone heaven. Our tree is messy and mixed up, gobs of ornaments in the prime real estate, the reindeer handprint head next to a stained glass orb from the National Cathedral.

Our family custom has been to buy an ornament from each place we travel. As we’re unwrapping the ornaments, we recall wonderful vacations, times when we focused on each other, not our work or school. When we felt the spray from Niagara Falls, the wonder of Mount Rushmore. The magic of Disney World and the exuberance of our Caribbean honeymoon. 

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Not too long ago my church, St. Lydia’s, moved into its own storefront location. Previously, we had borrowed or rented space for just a few hours each week. It wasn’t an easy process in New York City, and in some ways it mirrored the process my wife have been experiencing as we look for a new apartment. We have been asking ourselves: What kind of home do we want to create? What can we afford? Where can we best create community? In a sense we are asking ourselves: Who are we and who do we want to be?

In this past Sunday’s readings, Jesus says, “Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake."

Advent is a time of preparation. Part of this preparation is examining ourselves, our desires and our needs, and asking what kind of home we want to make in this world. Who are we and who do we want to be?

In light of recent events in Ferguson and around the country, these are questions our country has been asking itself. Have some of us fallen asleep to the realities of racism and poverty that many people face? Can we be better? Are we awake?

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A few weeks ago Sarah Weedon, a senior from the School of Theology at Sewanee and the seminarian assigned to Southside Abbey, preached at our Friday evening worship.
By way of reminder, I will share a little of how our preaching works in our community – ­­ one that is two-thirds to three-quarters people who are in transitional housing – motels, cars, camps, abandoned buildings, streets, etc.

The preaching style at Southside Abbey begins by inviting conversation based upon a question or two. After Holy Scripture is proclaimed, the preacher asks a question and our worshipers break into small groups for discussion. We try to be intentional that these groups represent something of the diversity of the community – homeless people and millionaires, PhDs and people who are illiterate, many ethnicities, immigrants from Sudan, Guatemala, Russia, and even folks from the upper Midwest.

When I preach, I try to be a part of as many of these small groups as possible. When we gather back together as a group, the homilist preaches something of a capstone homily, trying to integrate what he or she has heard with what he or she has prepared for the week – often jettisoning all of that hard work in favor of something someone in the community has shared. My all time favorite is the time an African American man shared this: “I'm a black, homeless, jobless man and I just talked about Jesus with a white, female zoo-keeper. Where else could this happen? That is church to me!” All of this takes place in the holy space as we eat dinner between the bread and wine of Holy Communion.

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I was intrigued by the Lutheran blog that asked “Do we have Nadia problem?” reposted in part on Episcopal Cafe. Episcopal responses included an amusing retort: Would that we had a Nadia problem! We don’t even have a Nadia.

The Nadia in question is Nadia Bolz-Weber, possibly the only celebrity pastor out there from mainline/liberal Christianity these days. She’s tattooed, foul-mouthed, in recovery, and pastors a congregation that was founded to serve people disaffected and abused by more traditional forms of church. She’s a strong writer, inspiring preacher, and seemingly effective pastor. She’s also a bit of a rock star these days.

I’m skeptical enough of our culture’s love of making rock stars that I’m not sure we need an Episcopal rock star. I’m also a little tired of hearing about how excited certain staid Episcopalians get every time they hear about a young green-haired priest out there stirring things up. I’d love to have dozens of Nadias: gifted writers, pastors, theologians, preachers. By that definition there are arguably a number of Episcopal Nadias, just not the rock star variety. But in none of those cases (including that of the original Nadia) is the hair color or the skin decoration the substance of the ministry.

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It may seem odd to think about listening as a way to engage more people in the life of your congregation. We are used to teaching, preaching, singing, worshiping, setting up web sites, posting on Facebook, tweeting, for heaven’s sake. But listening?

A “listening campaign” started as a project for a small team within Saint Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church in South Bend, Indiana. These folks were participants in the Diocese of Northern Indiana’s Diocesan Congregational Development Institute. As a DCDI assignment, they were to interview a few people in their parish and report on what they learned by listening. But the Saint Michael’s team wanted to take that to a whole new level.

It took four or five meetings, but eventually the vestry committed to interviewing the entire congregation. Names were assigned for one-on-one discussions based on four revealing questions:

What brought you to Saint Michael’s? What keeps you at Saint Michael’s? What are the greatest strengths of our parish? What do you see as the greatest challenges facing our parish?

Rector Matthew Cowden explains that the interviews were NOT all about the data.

“We knew the data would be important, but we knew it would be more important to build relationships, beginning with the interviewer and interviewee. It took a while for the vestry to understand the value of such an enormous undertaking, involving the whole congregation. It was one vestry member, a successful, no-nonsense banker, who simply stated that the listening campaign was exactly what his bank does to enhance customer satisfaction. When he said, ‘it’s about building relationships,’ the rest of the vestry got on board,” Father Cowden recalls.

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Our phones, we love them and we hate them. Can we pray with them?

I work for the Brothers of the Society of Saint the Evangelist who in their Rule of Life talk about being “Men of the moment, up to the mark of the day.” This Advent the Brothers are inviting people worldwide to celebrate Advent through prayer, meditation and by contributing to a global Advent calendar.

Each day for Advent the Brothers are sending out by email a daily word, meditation and beautiful image. The emails are “time warped” so that they arrive at 5am wherever a person is on the planet. To subscribe visit www.ssje.org/adventword.

“5:00 am is about the time we get up to pray. Of course you can look at your email after 5:00 am,” said Brother Jim Woodrum, SSJE, “People maybe surprised to know that monks have cameraphones too and we are showing people how to pray with their phones this Advent. If you are inspired please snap a picture and Instagram it.”

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Most Friday afternoons the office at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, Del Mar, California, is a quiet place. Locals head out of work early to hit the beach, but get stuck in a jam on the freeways. Though we staff the front desk lest the phone ring or an email comes in, no calls come through; no emails pop up. It’s warm, sunny, and breezy, on a Friday Del Mar day.

This particular Friday was no different. The busyness of the workweek was over. Bulletins were printed; updated announcements were posted to the web site. St. Peter’s was ready for weekend worship. I sat quietly wondering what I could do next.

Fairly new to California, missing home, friends, family, and my home congregation, it dawned on me if I familiarized myself with the church’s pictorial directory, I might recognize a friendly face in my new community if I ran into someone here or there. I could put names and faces together, and make connections.

What seemed like a lot of time that passed was really not. Done with the directory, I thought I’d see if our web pages were user-friendly, eye-catching, and chock-full-of-information. I decided they flowed logically one to the next, were accurate, and timely. You could learn where the church is located, when we hold worship services, and all particulars for upcoming special events. You can browse photos, old newsletters, and select a sermon or two to hear. You can even choose how you’d like to serve the church and surrounding community. Why would the phone need to ring or an email be sent with such an effective tool? It wouldn’t!

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“Christ has no body but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours, Yours are the eyes with which he looks Compassion on this world,

This month in the ECF Vital Practices mid-month digest, we share articles and resources focused on how outreach can be a catalyst for relationships and transformation.

“Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good, Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world. Yours are the hands, yours are the feet, Yours are the eyes, you are his body.

Are these resources helpful in your ministry? If so, we invite you to share ECF Vital Practices with others in your congregation and diocese. Please forward this email to your church colleagues and friends and invite them to subscribe to ECF Vital Practices.

“Christ has no body now but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours, Yours are the eyes with which he looks compassion on this world. Christ has no body now on earth but yours.”
– Teresa of Avila

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Over the past several years, we’ve been updating our parish hall at St. George’s, Valley Lee. We stripped some walls bare and fixed the masonry, where needed. We’ve insulated walls and above the ceiling. While we were tightening things up, hopefully cutting down on energy usage, we also decided to add nicer finishes: wood flooring in the offices where there previously was linoleum; tile in the restrooms and drywall in the classrooms where there used to be cement block; nicer lighting in as many spaces as we could, and less expensive light fixtures, too – thank God for LED lights. Project by project, the parish hall is starting to look and function a lot better. 

Like many churches, we inherited a set of facilities built by – and, largely, for – the inhabitants of a previous congregation and, indeed, world. With the exception of our historic church, our buildings aren’t that old. Built in the 1960s, they are young enough to be functional but old enough to be costly. They were built with little and, in some cases, no insulation (energy costs apparently weren’t a serious consideration back then) and featured small, tight, dark rooms designed for that mythical Sunday School of 200+ kids. Until we started these more intentional renovations a few years ago, the best this congregation had done, to date, was re-paint and keep up those Baby Boom-era spaces.

Meanwhile, the world changed. This meant different patterns and expectations of church – including the purpose of church buildings.

And in our case, the church was starting to operate and function in new ways. Today, we are a very different community than the one which built our parish hall. The best part is, with some intentional leadership, we’ve been able to have the conversation about our goals and values today, and how these goals are different from those of previous generations and why those differences matter. We started to update our church spaces not because the world had changed but because the church was changing; because, for instance, we needed to pay greater attention to IT issues and build a 21st century office infrastructure; because, we discerned, the overall presentation of the spaces matter, and new leaders were bringing new and good questions about why things go where.

This is when and where we started to get into the conversation about change.

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