Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Listen delightedly.

In a two-day retreat for women, the leader has invited us to listen delightedly. The focus of the retreat is story -- the ways that story can connect us, inspire new thoughts, encourage creative responses, and build relationships.

One exercise immediately seemed a prime candidate for adoption at our staff and vestry meetings. In pairs, we had two minutes to answer a short prompt. In this example, the topic was simple: tell a story about our name.

Then the listener asked questions -- but not ones I would normally ask. We were instructed not to ask for clarification or more details but rather inquire about how sharing the story felt to the speaker. Sample questions included: What do you like about the story? What does this story mean to you? What did you learn about telling the story?

After a minute or so with these questions, the listener then shared what they liked about the story, how it was told, details that were particularly meaningful, emotions evoked from the story.

As simple as this sounds, it was a quick and effective way of learning something new and meaningful. It created a bond beyond the task.

I hope to bring this to our staff meetings and suggest it our vestry. I think it could strengthen our relationships and help focus us as we move to the more immediate demands of planning and doing.

Perhaps listening delightedly is the first step to carrying out our work and ministry with similar joy.