Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Somewhere in our move, I lost my wedding rings.

I keep hoping they will turn up, tucked in the bottom of jewelry bag or slipped behind a drawer. But it’s been three weeks and lots of emptying boxes and still no sign.

My thumb keeps finding the smooth band of my ring finger, where 15 years of wearing the rings created a near permanent indention.

I feel naked without them.

The rings – engagement and wedding – aren’t of significant monetary value. We were pretty poor at our engagement, and while it was a stretch for us, it’s not a diamond Harry Winston would hawk to celebrities. And the wedding band is gorgeous, in my opinion, but it won’t make a Times Square billboard for Valentine’s Day.

Yet these rings are priceless to me, an outward and visible sign of whose I am, to whom I committed my heart and life, pledging to share the good times and bad, laughter and tears, date nights and laundry. 

It’s probably not politically correct to say that I love Ash Wednesday. After all, this day is a stark reminder of the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made – and keeps making – for us. It’s a time when we reflect on our mortality and our desperate need for repentance and self-examination. 

But there’s such power in the ashen cross drawn across my forehead. This outward and visible sign reminds me of whose I am. Throughout the day, I’ll catch a glimpse in the mirror and see the ashes, and remember to whom I pledged my soul. Sometimes through the day, I’ll forget about the ashes, only to be reminded when I rub my hands across my brow and come back with black smudges. 

I need outward signs sometimes. Whether or not I’m wearing my wedding rings, I am still married. That commitment still stands. But seeing the ring, absently playing with it in meetings, even snagging my sweater on an errant prong, is a tangible reminder of this relationship. 

The same is true for me today. I am a follower of Christ, whether or not I have ashes marked in a cross. But this outward and visible sign is a reminder to me of the inward and spiritual grace given to us, ordained by Christ himself. 

Thanks be to God.