Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

I’ve done some event planning, and while I really enjoyed it, one thing I learned is that something always goes wrong. There will be a typo in the program or you won’t have the right cord for the projector or someone will forget to bring the tablecloths, and you’ll just have to figure out what to do about it. If you recognize this fact, you’ll be a little less rattled when it happens.

This fact, that something will always go wrong, also goes for Christian community, as I was reminded reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together. 

Bonhoeffer writes:

Innumerable times a whole Christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream. The serious Christian, set down for the first time in a Christian community, is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what Christian life together should be and to try to realize it. But God’s grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.

In other words, Christian community is messy. Things will also go wrong; people will always fall short. Community will not meet your ideal, and if you expect it to you will be constantly disappointed. There is no perfection to be found in this world, and definitely not in community. The sooner we realize this, and take people as they really are, the happier we’ll be and the healthier our community will be.

This means we should be honest about each other’s shortcomings and flaws. You can’t be in a relationship with an ideal. We can’t minister to and support each other if we don’t see who we really are. 

Likewise, we should also be realistic about our ministries. We have limited resources and skills, and if we see clearly both our assets and what we are lacking, we’ll be able to better use what we have. Whether we’re planning an event, evaluating a ministry, or simply trying to be together, the sooner we abandon the ideal for the reality, the better off we’ll be.