Episcopal Church Foundation Vital Practices - Blogs

August 12, 2013

Children ARE Welcome. Really.

Are children REALLY welcomed during church services?

The story he told was simple: The first time that he and his wife came back to the church in which they were married, they were worried. Their kids were young. The service can seem long. As semi-first-timers, they wanted to make a good impression. They didn't want people to think their kids were ill-behaved.

Yet kids are kids. And their kids, like mine and so many others, started to wiggle by reading of the first lesson. They shushed and separated the kids, they probably squeezed their shoulders a bit, a friendly warning. They may have tried goldfish crackers. In just a few minutes, I suspect they would have started thinking: This is a bad idea. The kids aren't ready for church. We won't be back until they're older.

Instead, there was a tap on the shoulder. Here are two children's activity bags. This might help. It does with my kids.

And it did help. Coloring pages, books, pipe cleaners, a few pieces of candy. The kids immediately settled, and so did the parents.

They've been back most Sundays since.

The difference, said the dad as he told me the story, was they felt valued. It's like when you go into a store and ask an associate for the location of an item. Hearing "aisle 13" is way different than having someone say, "let me show you," and walks with you. You go back to the second store, he said. You feel like they care.

We make hospitality and welcome so complicated sometimes. This story shows it can be simple: the person didn't just tell the couple about the activity bags in the back but brought them to the pew. She showed them she cared, that they were valued. She saw the Christ in them, and they saw Christ in her. And that made all the difference.