October 7, 2013

Shared Vulnerability

Who has not experienced some kind of disaster or failure, large or small? And how many of us have admitted this in our community of faith and asked for help? 

This past week I went to a class at Trinity led by the Rev. Stuart Hoke about the spirituality of 12-step programs and what we can learn from them. The core of the 12 steps, he explained, comes in part from William James, a psychologist and author of The Varieties of Religious Experience. According to James, three things open us up to a religious or spiritual experience: the experience of calamity, admission that life has in some way gotten the better of us, and appeal to God or others for help.

It’s easy to imagine what calamity and appealing for help look like in an Alcoholics Anonymous group, but more difficult in the church. People don’t always come to church for the same reasons. Some have in fact experienced calamity of some sort and are looking for support. Others go to church because they believe it’s good for their kids. Some are seeking friends and community. The sense of shared need is not as obvious as it once was.

But it’s there, in fact. Only the extremely privileged, the immature, and the delusional can tell themselves that they are in control of their lives and do not need others. Our need for each other is an important part of what makes us human and what draws us to community. 

We come together for many reasons, but it is important to remember our shared vulnerability and need. This is not the only reason to come to church, of course, but our painful pasts, the deaths and illnesses and bad decisions in our lives, are something that unite us in our need for God and each other. In light of this, we should ask ourselves, “What keeps us from being honest and open with each other about our personal calamity and our need for help?”