Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Every diocesan office, every church staff has some superstars.

They are creative thinkers – and doers – with boundless optimism and energy. Their job is a ministry, a calling, and they pour both their ability and heart into the work. And it shows.

But, I wonder, how often do we praise this good work? Or do we more often let it pass without comment?

In an article in Newsweek about winning strategies, Jack and Suzy Welch make the point that too often organizations and leaders focus their attention on the bottom third, troubled employees who are having a hard time meeting expectations. The middle are left to flounder, without encouragement or mentoring that might enable them to rise to the top. And the superstars? Well, eventually, they “become disaffected and leave seeking more appreciation, either in the soul or the wallet, or both,” according to the article.

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Every diocesan office, every church staff has some superstars.

They are creative thinkers – and doers – with boundless optimism and energy. Their job is a ministry, a calling, and they pour both their ability and heart into the work. And it shows.

But, I wonder, how often do we praise this good work? Or do we more often let it pass without comment?

In an article in Newsweek about winning strategies, Jack and Suzy Welch make the point that too often organizations and leaders focus their attention on the bottom third, troubled employees who are having a hard time meeting expectations. The middle are left to flounder, without encouragement or mentoring that might enable them to rise to the top. And the superstars? Well, eventually, they “become disaffected and leave seeking more appreciation, either in the soul or the wallet, or both,” according to the article.

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I’ve been musing about an article in Newsweek by Jack and Suzy Welch. Jack Welch was, of course, the chairman and CEO of General Electric for 20 years, leaving in 2001. He wrote the book, Winning, with his soon-to-be wife, Suzy, amid some controversy. 

Nevertheless, I think the article offers some interesting advice that, when tweaked a bit, has some merit for our ministry. While we shouldn't see the church in terms of winners or losers, we should all be seeking a winning strategy for guiding our church to growth in community, numbers and faith.

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In The Episcopal Church (and maybe all churches), we have lots of listening sessions. These are times for the stakeholders to come together and talk to the leadership about their wants and desires. The leadership, in turn, is supposed to listen with open minds and hearts.

In my opinion, these listening sessions accomplish very little unless the people who are talking truly feel heard. One of the best ways, I think, is to make sure that some of the suggestions are incorporated into the work at hand. Then the leadership should acknowledge the role of this input: You talked. We heard you – and here’s how. 

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This morning I took the cats to the vet. Not my favorite thing to do, as my two cats are experts at eluding capture. Yet, over time I’ve learned ways to make ‘herding the cats’ into their carriers an easier task. I haven’t, however, figured out a way to keep them from crying and moaning from the minute they are shoved into the carriers until the car stops in the vet’s parking lot.

I prepare for the trip by reflecting on the cats’ behavior; listing what’s going well and areas I’m concerned about. Once there, I share my questions with the vet and together, we devise a plan for addressing any concerns. The cats get their shots; I know whether or not I should be concerned about Francisca’s weight, and try to remember to be on the lookout for any sneezing or wheezing from Edelweiss.

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I hate to trim.

While the kids are away for a week at the grandparents, my husband and I are toiling through a long-delayed to-do list.

That includes painting several rooms. Since my husband is at least seven inches taller, he works on the ceiling while I kneel on the ground, painting the baseboards a crisp white.

After what seems like 15 hours of trim-painting purgatory, the first room has sparkling baseboards but little else to show for my back-breaking labor. It’s the wall paint the makes the splash - -that transforms the room from dingy to dynamite.

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Ever learned to swim by being pushed into the deep end of the pool? It isn’t pretty and can be downright terrifying, but there’s a strong incentive to figure out what works!

In the past two years, I have served as the chair of two committees in two separate organizations. While this has been an immense privilege, I must also say that chairing these committees has been very difficult for me. In fact, I’ve sometimes felt that it is one of the hardest, most humbling things I’ve ever had to do.

For me, anyway, learning to lead a committee of volunteers has been a trial by fire. My learning curve has been steep and I’ve relied heavily on the gracious guidance of many mentors along the way. Finally, two years and many sleepless nights in, it feels like I’m starting to get a hang of this. We’ve still got a long way to go, but I’m finding that the committees are more focused and we’re increasingly able to accomplish our goals.

Here are a few of the things that have made all the difference:

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One of my earliest memories of church is of the kindergarten room in the basement of Emmanuel Episcopal Church in Wakefield, Mass. It is Epiphany, and there is a large felt board on the wall with figures representing the Magi’s visit to the baby Jesus. Among the felt figures are Mary and Joseph, various shepherds, the three wise men, and of course the baby Jesus. Also represented were a donkey, sheep, camels, and other animals. In the background was the manger, the stable, some palm trees, and the star. 
The characters taking part in this Bible story represent the diversity of our common life. Parents and children. Young shepherds. Older sages from foreign lands. A variety of animals. Each character contributes to the richness of the story; if one were missing, we would feel the void.
Our common life continues to be enriched by the diversity among us. The July/August issue of Vestry Papers explores ways that congregations and dioceses bring people from different generations together in common purpose, creating opportunities for meaningful connection.

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“Provide more practical tools for congregational leaders,” say respondents of a recent ECF Vital Practices survey. A look through the variety of resources that flood my inbox on a daily basis provided a resource developed by the English Diocese of Liverpool for congregations to use when evaluating proposed initiatives. 
The diocese, which has 250 churches in both rural and urban settings in the north of England, is working towards "a sustainable, led and transforming Christian presence in every community in the diocese to enable all to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God."
In a press release issued by the Anglican Communion News Service, Linda Jones, Liverpool’s Church Growth team leader identified Ten Tests congregational leaders should use to measure the worth of any proposed initiatives:

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The nursery renovation began with a 5-year-old.

Our church is nearly 200 years old, and some of the toys in the nursery surely witnessed the first service. We even considered carbon-dating.

But to be honest, our attention was on the adult stuff – updating the bathrooms, re-painting the choir room.

So it was a surprise to learn that our 5-year-old daughter had organized a bake sale to raise money to buy new toys for the nursery. She had made the rounds in coffee hour and had a sign-up list of treats. She made signs -- Bake sale 4 kids – and hung them around the church. She recruited other kids to help, called the adults the week before the sale to remind them, and made cookies with her grandma as her offering.

On the morning of the bake sale, she directed the placement of the tables and arranged the treats for optimal sales potential. If anyone failed to stop by the table, she made a polite inquiry, asking if they’d like to help buy new toys for the kids. I don’t think anyone turned her down.

At the end of the morning, the Sunday crowd of about 80 had donated nearly $500.
We organized a nursery committee, including the 5-year-old, to talk about renovating the nursery. Another couple who had lost a child earmarked the memorial money for the project. As a group, we talked about priorities: Safety, cleanliness and fun.

We pitched most of the toys and old furniture. We decided to use part of the money to hire an artist who painted a magnificent and inviting mural. And we purchased a pager system so parents could be contacted immediately.

And of course, we shopped for toys. Actually, I served as chauffeur and chief bag carrier, while the 5-year-old headed the shopping brigade.

Led by the determination of children to have their place in church, we celebrated the new nursery with cookies and milk.

“Make yourself at home.”

I’ve heard, and uttered, this phrase thousands of time in my life. And, depending on the situation, I either follow through or I don’t, my actions guided by the intangible ‘vibes’ my senses pick up.

I stopped to reflect on this recently, after a meeting with the senior wardens and clergy at Iglesia San Pedro – St. Peter’s Church in Salem, Massachusetts. We were talking about how this Church, made up of a legacy Anglo congregation and an existing Latino congregation searching for a new home, has been successful in creating one congregation rather than two sharing a common space.

During our conversation, I heard how welcome members of the Latino congregation felt the first time they worshiped at St. Peters. How the music director welcomed their choir and musicians and incorporated their musical traditions into the service. How the service was conducted in both Spanish and English – and of the marathon four-hour session to create their first bilingual bulletin – so that all could follow along.

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“Negotiating limited resources creates community,” says Don Bisson, a Marist brother and widely respected leader on the interrelationship of spirituality and psychology.

When I heard this claim last week from Sr. Carol Bernice, reporting on a workshop Brother Bisson led for Episcopal religious orders, it really struck a chord. I’ve pondered it all week. Then I read Richelle Thompson’s blog post here yesterday, about building community at camp, and realized some of the same elements are at play.

Negotiating limited resources creates community.

Richelle paints a great picture of how campers share limited resources, helping each other out when supplies run low or kids creating fun and games out of the natural materials at hand.

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My daughter was only four months old the first time I truly understood the challenge of raising PKs – priest kids.

I held her in my arms as we waited by the door for my husband to lock up the church. Her little face peaked out from a caterpillar costume. Across my back stretched butterfly wings. A Martha-Stewart idea brought to reality by my sewing whiz of a mother-in-law, the costume won first place at the church contest.

Like every mom, I was happy that she won – though she had no idea and was perfectly content with her pacifier. The ribbon will go in her baby book, I decided.

Another family walked out. The mom looked at us and under her breath, she muttered, “Figures she won first place. She’s the preacher’s kid.”

It was a sucker punch.

I’m not prone to casual weeping, but the tears welled up right away. I cried, not over a silly costume contest but rather for a new understanding of the thin space in which we would raise our children.

If they won a contest at church, it would be because they were priest’s kids. If they knew a Bible story, it was because they were priest kids, and if they didn’t, then something must be wrong. If they misbehaved, they would be judged more harshly. If they sat like angels, it would be taken for granted.

When I was five years old, my parents moved to a new church, and I lost a bet with a fellow Sunday School classmate. He told me that Wesley’s dad was the preacher. I didn’t believe it. In my small view of the world, preachers didn’t have families. They weren’t real people with obligations and relationships.

Preachers were on a pedestal.

I don’t want my children to be there too.

Worship in the Diocese of Chicago last Saturday was fantastic. Why worship on Saturday? The opening of the annual diocesan Leadership and Ministry Fair.

Bishop Jeffrey Lee, Vicki Garvey (canon for Christian Formation), and Dent Davidson (Missioner for Arts and Liturgy), along with lay readers and cantors, offered not only soul-stirring reflections and spirit-filled music, but modeled shared leadership in a way I hadn’t quite seen before. Instead of the usual sermon or address by a Bishop, Vicki began with a short reflection, followed by silence and a brief meditation from Dent, then again silence and a reflection by Jeff (who they call by first name). Each offered words of substance, pushing us to engage our faith in the Risen Lord. The flow between them during the entire liturgy was seamless. I can only image they’ve worked hard to develop this intentionality in team leadership. It showed. As a participant unfamiliar with the people and culture of this place, I felt welcomed, engaged, and deeply moved. The morning liturgy concluded with all of us gathered around the baptismal font (including a fountain of flowing water!). Bishop Lee and Vicki told stories that rekindled our senses, reminding us that Christ is alive. Then Dent rocked the piano and led us in soulful singing of Wade in the Water as we processed out to our workshops for the day.

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I don’t rejoice that Osama bin Laden is dead.

To be certain, I am glad he can no longer mastermind terrorist attacks. I am thankful he will no longer be able to lead disenfranchised zealots to attack innocent people around the world.

His death, I hope, brings some measure of closure for the families of his many victims, but it cannot bring the loved ones back. I believe his death was deserved and that by any measure, it was a matter of justice.

But I can’t feel joy about death. It just doesn’t feel right.

What do you think? How are we called as Christians to respond to this news?

Our congregational life is a common life, complete with the joys and challenges that come from being in relationship. As congregational leaders, our role involves managing the sometimes ‘sticky wickets’ of relationship that hamper our work of building the beloved community.

The May/June issue of Vestry Papers explores the theme Caring for Each Other. We share resources and articles offering ways to model mutual respect and care with congregational leaders (lay and ordained, volunteer and paid) and the community as a whole.

Here’s what you’ll find in this issue of Vestry Papers:

Email and social media have changed how many of us communicate with each other. In “Tone Matters,” Scott Gunn looks at how the casual nature of this media can create opportunities for hurt feelings and offers steps you can take to minimize misunderstandings and create an environment of truthfulness and love. The regular flow of congregational life often includes people impacted by addiction and codependency. “So You Think You Don’t Know One” by Chilton Knudsen offers a look at the impact these issues can have on a congregation, identifying patterns and symptoms to look for as well as a call to mindfulness that can open the way to healing and a renewal of congregational health.  There’s a correlation between highly functioning, fruitful vestries and a culture of respect, caring, and transparency. In “No More Parking Lot Conversations,” Nancy Davidge and Mary MacGregor explore ways congregational leaders can encourage a culture of mutual respect. Caring for each other includes treating people fairly. When it comes to our church employees, both clergy and lay, our commitment to being ‘fair’ often runs up against budget realities. “Valuing Lay Employees” introduces readers to the church-wide lay employee pension system mandated at the 2009 General Convention and the resources developed by the Church Pension Group to help congregations and church institutions discern how best to implement this benefit.

Recent Vital Posts blogs also offer resources related to this theme. What Miguel Escobar’s “Google and the Human Touch,” Peter Strimer’s “Who’s New and Who’s Missing,” and Richelle Thompson’s “Care and Feeding of Priests” have in common is a call to take one extra step in recognition of our relationship with each another. And, on June 1, we’ll post four new Vestry Papers articles on this theme.

Building healthier relationships in congregations is the theme of our VP Talk with retired bishop Chilton Knudsen on Thursday, May 19 at 7:00 pm ET. Using case studies from her book So You Think You Don’t Know One? Addiction and Recovery in Clergy and Congregations, Chilton will explore the theological dimensions and symptoms of addiction and codependency and offer strategies for congregational healing.

As always, I invite you to share your “Caring for Each Other” resources in the Your Turn section, by participating in VP Talks, and/or posting comments related to our articles, blog posts, or other content.

Working on this issue, I’ve developed a heightened awareness of the ways I interact with others and the intentional and unintentional messages I send with every action and communication. I invite you to join me in this intentional mindfulness.

Faithfully,

Nancy Davidge
Editor, ECF Vital Practices

PS: I invite you to join us on Thursday, May 26 at 1:00 pm ET, for a VP Talk, “Creating a Sustainable Community,” with Tracey Lind, dean of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Cleveland and Richard Horton, chair of Trinity’s Green Team. They’ll share how the Cathedral is using sustainability as a tool for evangelism and church growth as well as an economic engine for the rebuilding of a city and region, and the faith community’s role in that rebuilding.

Each Eastertide I try to inject some fun and relaxation into the lives of parishioners. For the third year running, I will host “Joy Walks;” a four-mile trek around the glacial lake that gives our Green Lake neighborhood its name.

But the new big fun innovation for this year is “Lunch is on me.” Here is the blurb that ran in our newsletter, the Log:

A new Easter treat from Pete is “Lunch is on Me.” Pete is looking to meet you in your workplace and see your work setting then take you out for a free lunch near by. It is part of our year-long effort to honor the gifts each of us use in our daily lives. If lunch can’t work, Pete will meet you for coffee.

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If the church is on fire, tell the rector.

Otherwise, in the final 10 minutes before a service starts, try to resist peppering your priest with questions or reports about some failure of performance – people or facilities (or both).

In those 10 minutes, your priest is trying to focus on leading worship. He or she is vesting, double-checking the procession, mentally reviewing a sermon, and greeting people. The priest is praying with the choir, conferring with the organist, touching base with the Altar Guild, and possibly ducking into the restroom.

Reporting to the priest that the coffeemaker is on the blitz or that you can’t find the minutes to last month’s vestry meeting is one more distraction in an already frenetic time.

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So far this week: eight meetings in three days. Whether I like it or not, meetings form the backbone of my day, vertebrae linking ideas, people, and action. Yet one-third of all meetings are considered unnecessary by the people who attend them.

I’ve been running meetings since leading student council in high school. In college I became well trained in the art of crafting agendas; the student organization I belonged to was incredibly organized and effective. We jokingly earned a reputation as the group that had pre-meetings to plan meetings to plan meetings! I admit it was a bit much at times, but also a fantastic learning laboratory of how to engage people around ideas and action.

But when you’ve run as many meetings as I have, it’s easy to fall into the old adage that “I could do it in my sleep.” In the midst of busy life it’s common to email a hurried agenda, just think about the topic while walking two blocks to the office, or print key documents on my way to the conference room.

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The clergy of the Diocese of Olympia just ended a three-day retreat led by Bishop Eugene Sutton of the Diocese of Maryland. The assignment he had given himself was to help this gathering of priests and deacons, “connect role and soul.” In four incredibly engaging sessions over two days he wove metaphor, story, song (including teaching us the four-part harmony on an old Gospel tune), and the sharing of life experience into a whole-cloth teaching on leadership.

Leadership was the exclusive focus of our fourth session and there he laid out three important tenets that I want to share here. He started the session by making the bold statement that, “We have lost confidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and its ability to save.” He made clear that without a purpose, a leader is really just a manipulator. His own personal mission statement is PGE – Proclaim Gospel Everywhere.

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