Episcopal Church Foundation Vestry Papers - for leading congregations

Even from a hospital bed, Presiding Bishop Michael Curry is a pastor.
Over the weekend, Bishop Curry suffered a subdural hematoma, a small collection of blood between his brain and his skull. He is scheduled for surgery today and is expected to make a full recovery.
Even as I’m sure he is a bit anxious about the surgery and his health, Bishop Curry also wanted to reassure and comfort his flock—the 2 million people of The Episcopal Church. From his hospital bed, he spoke in a video, with a nurse explaining his condition. His canon for ministry, the Rev. Canon Michael Hunn, was at his side.
Bishop Curry sets the bar pretty high. I know when I was awaiting surgery, I would not have wanted to smile for a camera. But the bishop offers a wonderful example of the use of social media as a pastoral tool.
Whether we like social media or not is really irrelevant in today’s culture. It is woven tightly into the social fabric, and we ignore it at our own expense. Video is an especially effective tool. It’s easily shareable and it’s dynamic, meaning that it engages the senses in multiple ways.

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When I was a new Episcopalian, I remember learning how Christmas used to be celebrated only after a healthy dose of 4 weeks of Advent. I had already learned about Lent, a time of sacrifice, preparing for the cross in obedience and giving up something I craved, like chocolate. Not likely to be successful with THAT during the holidays! So, what do I do? What is the church doing?

Lo these many years after my initial questions, I realize I still have some work to do to fully grasp the concept of waiting in expectation for something I know has already occurred. No matter how hard I try to set aside time to meditate in the quiet glow of our Christmas tree (put up well in advance of December 24), my mind wanders as I wonder in front of the crèche… Should I keep the Baby Jesus under wraps until Christmas?

In her book, The Meaning is in the Waiting: The Spirit of Advent, (Paraclete Press, 2009) author Paula Gooder explores Advent with biblical examples of those who have waited, including wisdom-filled thoughts about “why God might want us to get better at it.”

The Salvation story is like a snowball, rolling down a hill and picking up more layers with every revolution, Gooder suggests, from the beginning in creation to God’s many interventions with people:

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Editor's note: The Church Leadership Conference brings together vestries and other congregational leaders for learning, reflection, and formation. It’s a time and space for vestries to ask the big questions facing their congregations, featuring outstanding speakers and workshop leaders presenting ideas and resources, not only to inspire, but also for practical tools in ministry. Register for the 2017 Conference here.

Taking a break during an important meeting may seem like a waste of time for the leader of the meeting, but, if planned for, it can turn out to be some of the most productive time your group spends together. Not only will an intermission help people get an energy boost and return to the meeting with fresh ideas, but it can be a time for team building. Team leaders often overlook this possibility. However, consider when you’ve made connections at a conference or retreat in the past. It’s not usually during the session itself, but over coffee during a break. Consider making the most of your meeting breaks the next time your group gathers. 

Of course, if you have just a five-minute break, it’s unlikely that there’s time to do anything other than truly give people a breather. It’s okay to allow that to happen without an exercise or suggested activity. If possible, provide a refreshment area with tea, coffee, and maybe juice so people can revive themselves before returning to the group. 

Short break ideas

“When you have a 10–15-minute break, this is where opportunities can bubble up,” says Bethany Frazier, a team building staff member at Kanuga Conference & Retreat Center. “Consider providing a relaxed gathering space away from the meeting area where members of the group can mingle after taking the first five minutes to refresh themselves.”

Before the break begins, encourage your group to visit the area to discuss casually what they just learned from the meeting. 

“Not only does this time serve as a break from the meeting, but it also serves as an opportunity for members to be engaged and process any new information discussed in the meeting,” explains Frazier. “This type of break may help you achieve your overall meeting objective of conveying new information or generating new ideas.” 

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It’s Advent, we know. Some people found this out when they walked into a church bedecked in purple or blue on Sunday morning. The church, at least a lot of communities in the Episcopal Church, does a pretty good job of keeping the focus on Advent during most of December. This isn’t a minor thing as the themes of Advent are decidedly unsettling: end-times and stirring up and expectancy and waiting.

That’s what I think we’re saying, or trying to say.

That’s not necessarily what people hear. The day after Thanksgiving, I went with my family to our local downtown tree-lighting ceremony, where the line for pictures with Mrs. Claus was a whole lot shorter than that for her husband. We snapped a photo, I posted it on Facebook, and one of my parishioners said, in good humor, “What’s this, Fr. Greg?! Christmas so soon! What heresy!” (She has, in the past, accused me of being “Scrooge,” and I’ve heard “Fr. Grinch” from time to time – such is my reputation for how much I apparently 'love' Christmas in the early days of December!)

Believe me, I’ve told people how much I love Christmas. (I really do, by the way.) And I’ve talked about how much more special a gift becomes when we wait, really wait to open it, such as waiting for the days of Advent to truly savor Christmas. I’ve preached about the twelve days of Christmas as one long feast, and how much joy it is to relish in that short season; in other words, don’t exhaust the celebration by launching it too early. I’ve said all of this, over and over again.

But we, the church, are speaking in paragraphs (see above!) whereas the world is listening in nano-seconds. A friend reminded me that we used to talk about “sound bytes": turning complicated ideas into quick quips the evening news can pick up. Now, even that’s changed. Now, we’re talking in hashtags. And that’s all you’ve got to communicate your message.

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Advent: A time of preparation; a time of waiting. And, for our congregational leaders, especially those responsible for parish administration, time to make a master list and check it twice. First, for all of the seasonal events and services, next for all the ‘end-of-the-calendar-year’ related administrative tasks: year-end reports, “closing out” 2015’s financial matters, vestry elections, annual meeting planning, etc.

In the December Vestry Papers, we continue to share articles and stories covering some of the practical aspects of church leadership, with emphasis on the role of and providing support to parish administrators – be they employees or volunteer, full or part time.

Our articles include:

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The Feast of St. Nicholas is a wonderful way for families and congregations to explore and understand the great tradition behind the commercialized Santa Claus. A bishop of Myra (what is now Turkey), Saint Nicholas is remembered as a grace-filled, faithful, and generous man. Perhaps he was jolly too, but more importantly he lived out his faith in big and small ways. He was not only imprisoned for his faith, but he also participated in the councils of the church, including the gathering that developed the Nicene Creed, which we still say today.

Numerous legends surround St. Nicholas. In one story, he provides bags of gold (or gold balls) for the dowries of three poor daughters. According to custom, Nicholas heaved the bags through an open window, where they landed in shoes. This led to the custom of hanging stockings or in some places, leaving out shoes for gifts on St. Nicholas night. Often oranges are given as a symbol of the gold balls.

St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Dayton, Ohio, is hosting a particularly engaging event for the celebration of St. Nicholas – one that both is playful and joyful (even jolly!) but also lives into the generous spirit of the saint.

Their event, cleverly called Goody2Shoes, invites the community to bring shoes to the front steps of the church on the morning of December 5. (Folks are encouraged to add a note with their names to the shoes.) Overnight, St. Nick will fill the shoes with sweets and gifts. On Sunday, December 6, the feast day of St. Nicholas, participants can return to the church in the morning to pick up their goodies.

But there’s a twist! 

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This Sunday we began Advent with the usual apocalyptic lectionary readings. Jesus says, “There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on the earth distress among nations confused by the roaring of the sea and the waves.” 

I never know quite what to make of these words. They're a little unsettling and I’d rather pretend that Jesus didn’t say them. In this respect, Advent is a little like an invitation to a party you’re not sure you want to attend. You're happy to be invited but you don't know what to expect. What kind of people are you going to encounter? How late are you going to have to stay up? Wouldn’t it be nice just to stay home and watch a movie instead? But you can’t just ignore an invitation like that.

Some of these readings make me think of our current reality. The seas are roaring and nations are in distress. The temperature or our planet is rising because of climate change and many live in fear of terrorism or racist violence or war. Advent asks us to consider all of that. To look at the difficult and uncomfortable truths and ask us how we will respond. It might be easier to ignore them, to stay home, but you keep thinking about that invitation. 

On the first Sunday of Advent I joined a climate march. Not because it’s how I wanted to spend a Sunday afternoon (especially after traveling back from the Thanksgiving weekend on a train with a very unhappy dog), but because the reality of climate change is constantly breaking into my life no matter how much I try to ignore it, forcing me to respond. 

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My memories are probably very slanted because even as a boy I was a pretty serious church nerd, but I remember how much I looked forward to one of the latter Sundays in January. Lots of people would turn out to the one worship service my church had that day. The social hall – through which we passed on our way to church and Sunday School – had lots of tables and chairs set up, and nicely decorated tables at that. By 10:00 am Mrs. Pitlock, the neighborhood caterer, and her crew were already bustling in our church kitchen getting the luncheon ready, and every year I knew I could look forward to her delicious glazed carrots.

It was the Sunday of our congregation’s Annual Meeting, and it was a big deal. The lunch was tasty and, even more remarkable, served to us at our seats …on real plates! But, mostly, the meeting was business and a series of people making committee reports. While I was in awe of the seriousness with which my parents participated in this assembly, I confess that I got bored with most of it really quickly; my friends and I would, by the second report or so, have already gotten permission to go play in the churchyard.

Annual meetings don’t get a lot of attention in our common conversation about becoming more mission-minded instead of maintenance-focused. I get it. Annual meetings are, perhaps, one of the last significant vestiges of ‘things congregations have to do,’ and there’s not a lot of imagination or creativity or, frankly, desire around them, in general.

But I’ve been thinking a lot about annual meetings, primarily for two reasons. First, ours is coming up. St. George’s Annual Meeting is on the first Sunday in December. (It makes Advent and Thanksgiving kind of crazy, but I’ve come to really appreciate having everything done – budget, vestry, officers – before the calendar year kicks in.) Second, because I’ve been looking very seriously at turning (most) everything we do into opportunities to form and send forth disciples of Jesus, I wondered if we couldn’t make our annual meeting something more, placing the emphasis instead on a celebratory, grace-filled annual gathering of disciples.

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What do you talk about? Who (or what) takes up the most space in your conversations?

It would be hard to measure the content of our actual conversations but a popular Facebook app is providing some interesting insights. You have probably seen the word cloud pop up on the feeds of your friends. The app by vonvon pulls together a word cloud based on your most-used words on Facebook.

For some, the cloud is a happy reflection: words like love, thanks, great are the biggest (and thus, the most commonly used). For others, the app is revealing. Their most popular words include: I, annoyed, hate. (And these are just the people who have posted the results. I suspect the worst results are self-selected out. People just choose not to share the word cloud.)

A word cloud of the sermon preached by Presiding Bishop Michael Curry at his installation in early November is illustrative of his priorities. At the center: Jesus. God. World. Love, church, way, reconciliation, neighbors.

On the one hand, the word clouds are just fun. But I wonder if they might provide a window into our health and well-being. What if we ran our church’s Facebook page through the word cloud app? What would be at the center?

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About a week ago, I posted a video on my Facebook page about race and what white people can do to combat racism. A friend of mine found some aspects of the video a little upsetting, particularly the idea of being grouped together with other white people and told what to do.

We spent at least 30 minutes talking about it. Eventually, I realized that we understood the word “racism” to mean two different things. I was thinking about a system in which we are all implicated, even and especially those of us who are considered white and receive benefits we may not have asked for. I think racism is all about history and context and the way our institutions and assumptions disadvantage people of color. He was thinking of racism as the act of grouping people by the color of their skin.

Neither of us was being unreasonable, we were just talking right past each other. It’s like we were each consulting our mental dictionaries and the definitions didn’t match. This friend and I agree about many things, including, ultimately, about many aspects of racism, but we had to define our terms before we could have a productive conversation.

Even without this confusion, racism isn’t easy to talk about. We all know that. Recognizing that simply by the fact of being white you get all sorts of advantages you didn’t ask for isn’t easy. Neither, of course, is telling painful stories as a person of color about the subtle but very real forms discrimination takes. These confusions about language only make it harder.

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Just as a child grows in stages, a vestry or group with a purpose evolves in phases. Creating a high-performing team does not happen overnight. It takes care, nurturing and effort to create a successful group.

Some have even named these group developmental stages. For example, Bruce W. Tuckman introduced the concept of “Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing” in 1965. A good explanation of this theory may be found in the most recent Vestry Resource Guide created by the Episcopal Church Foundation.

It’s important to keep in mind that these stages may not progress in linear fashion.

“You might jump from forming to norming, and the group ends its life cycle—such as a vestry member rolling off and a new one joining—before having the chance to enjoy the performing phase,” explains Christine Murawski, teambuilding staff member at Kanuga Conference & Retreat Center. “Also, every time a new member joins the group, the team will likely repeat these developmental stages.”

Forming

The forming stage occurs in the beginning when most members are amiable and eager. It’s important for the leader to be clear with roles and expectations at this stage, both with the group as a whole and with individual members. This is the time for ice breakers and other exercises that can build trust within the group and reveal the gifts that each individual offers. It’s also important at this stage to make sure the group knows why they are there and their purpose.

“This stage is a good time for the group to create a covenant regarding how they will treat one another and handle conflict as it arises,” says Murawski. “An example of this type of agreement occurs at Mountain Trail Outdoor School at Kanuga when a new group arrives. After settling in, the students are tasked with creating ground rules for their time at the school. It’s important for the group members to create the guidelines and not have the leader simply hand them out. If created by the group, they are more likely to follow them. Rules created by the students may include ‘We won’t yell at one another. We will not take things that do not belong to us.’ Of course, these are children’s rules and may not apply to adult vestries, but the idea is everyone agrees on what is acceptable behavior.”

Storming

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My grief for this broken week in the world caught up with me during church on Sunday, as our associate rector led a beautiful and gentle children’s sermon about hearing scary news. The sermon ended with our kids carrying candles to place on the altar, a gift to many of us bigger folks who needed to let a few quiet tears flow.

So now what? For those who have lost loved ones in terror attacks, the grief is just beginning. For the rest of us, beyond the French flag on Facebook pages, and the verbal expressions of solidarity, what more can we do?

Here is one thing. Maybe not the only thing, but important.

We can consider the implications of the news that at least one of the Paris attackers may have arrived as a “refugee” from Syria. Many are already considering that very question. Twenty-six American states -- more than half of our country -- have announced that they are no longer willing to resettle Syrian refugees.

We can help our fellow Christians to think about this very real question theologically. We who profess to be part of a body. We who believe in a God whose reach is beyond the grave. We who believe that perfect love casts out fear. We who are commanded to love one another.

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Recruiting Vestry Leaders

In the November Vital Practices Digest, we’re sharing five resources to help you prepare for and prayerfully recruit new leaders for your congregation’s vestry, bishop’s committee, or other leadership team. Our fifth resource is to help congregations strengthen their practice of year-round stewardship.

Please share this digest with other leaders in your congregation and extend an invitation to subscribe to ECF Vital Practices to receive Vestry Papers and the Vital Practices Digest.

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